Note from LadyTB: I originally wrote this in late 2009 while in The Spot and am just now publishing for first time.
Sometimes it feels like you have been spinning around in the same mess for so long. You have fasted, prayed, repented of every known sin. You asked God to kill your flesh. You have humbled yourself. You have surrendered (with great struggle) the best you know how.
You still keep messing up and making mistakes. You have asked God to take your life. You have prayed that he would take your mess and somehow use it for his benefit and glory.
You know that God has heard your prayers, but yet there is no tangible evidence of anything happening. You tied a knot in your rope and hung on until it broke, so now you are barely hanging on a strand.
As a matter of fact, things look worse now than when you first started. You get assaulted in your mind from every side – every possible negative thought that could be thought about your situation you think about. Every worse case scenario is fully played out. You began to judge yourself and blame others for your condition. You began to worry, reason, analyze, figure and finagle on how you got here and what you need to do. You see all of your mistakes and the mistakes of those closest to you. You see your flaws and their flaws too.
You have so much to say and feel that there is so much left unsaid. You are at your wits end. You have given up your way, your thinking and you cling desperately to God, waiting for your change to come. You pray for God to cover you, help you strengthen you when everything in you wants to run away. You feel as though you are not getting “your needs” met, that this isn’t how it was supposed to be, that your reality is no where close to what you are believing for. You make one step forward and five steps backward. You think it’s the devil holding you back (sure he is involved of course, then you think it is because of your mistakes and your flesh (that plays a huge role too). Then you also realize that God must be part of the hold up too— as a matter of fact, He controls all circumstances so it is safe to say that HE IS THE ONE who holds the key and is delaying for specific and strategic reasons.
At the end of every day and at the dawn of each new day, you wonder “Will this be the day that my captivity turns?” Will we stay like this forever? Are we being punished and suffering because of our mistakes? Is God delaying us because we can never seem to have enough faith, we still keep messing up with our mouth, our confession our thoughts and our wild and unruly flesh that wants to seek for itself and not submit to God? We think and we know that if it depended upon us to get us out of our mess, that we would make the mess even bigger and so we blame ourselves for our own role in our own mess and then we think that because of this our dreams, hopes, prayers, desires, all of the good things that we believe God wants us to do have been shut down and will never come to pass.
We think we will rot and die right here. We think that we will stay the same way forever. Hope seems distant and elusive. It takes all the faith you can to muster up the strength to keep on keeping on when it is so hard.
My friends I come to tell you that God will not let you rot in your spot. God sees us. He is using every thing that is going on in the Spot to make you better and stronger. He is humbling you. He is cleaning you up. He is purging you to receive the manifestation of your dreams.
There is a due season, an appointed season, a right season. When He doesn’t answer our prayers right away we’re forced to trust Him more. When He allows us to suffer it brings depth and strength and compassion into our lives.
Dying to our willful way of doing things that make sense to us in the short-term, immediacy of our need and desires but the long-term always creating pain and suffering because we are basing decisions on fear and what we see with our natural eyes. The outcome of these types of decisions and this type of lifestyle always brings suffering on some level to not only yourself but those whose lives you touch. God woos us in these moments of suffering to bring us to back to Him and His Love. We then turn from our error and submit to him. Then our love matures, so does our level of faith.
God is not in a hurry. Your fleshy hurry is partly why you are in the Spot. God simply waited for you to get to the Spot and then he lets you sit in the Spot until you learn the lesson of the Spot.
You will be delivered from the Spot when you learn the lesson of the Spot, when you stop fighting in the Spot. When you remain faithful in the Spot. When you keep believing in the Spot. When you keep serving in the Spot. When you keep praising in the Spot. While you are in the spot, you are getting stronger. The same stupid stuff that got you all bent out of shape in your pre-spot phase don’t faze you anymore.
James 1: 2 -3 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
Romans 5: 3-5 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Because of being the Spot, you can now handle some pressure. The Spot helped you to speak the Word only. Being in the Spot gave you some humility and some compassion. The people that you snubbed your nose at and looked down upon all of a sudden you got some understanding about them and you realize that it is God’s grace that you do as well as you do.
All of a sudden, you don’t feel so high and mighty anymore because all of the stuff you based on your value and worth in were removed in the Spot. In the Spot you learned what real love is. In the Spot, you learned some patience and how to be emotionally stable when all hell breaks loose. In the Spot is where you learned how to fight. Little imps and demons used to have you off the deep end mentally in two seconds flat don’t even faze you anymore.
Truthfully speaking, it is because of what you prayed for that you are in the Spot. You had to go to the Spot. If you can’t handle the Spot, then you can’t handle the blessing that come after it without falling apart and getting heady in yourself and not the power of God. The place of blessing is wonderful but rest assured my friend that you won’t get it without a fight and you won’t maintain it without a fight. If you can’t handle the fight in the Spot, then you won’t maintain any victory in the Blessing.
Know this, if you keep your hand in God’s hands, be humble, remain faithful, walk close to the Lord and speak the word and pray during the Spot, you will not remain there. Oh no, you will not rot in the Spot. You shall rise. You shall be resurrected. There will be a better day. Don’t judge your entire life, by the Spot season. Endure and press on. You will not Rot in the Spot!
- Waiting for a reason (daughterbydesign.wordpress.com)
- This Is Revival – Day 9: Why Pray? (yodajingeorgia.wordpress.com)
- Disqualified (lakeishachestnut.wordpress.com)