Self Sabotage: Own Your Ugly!


Sabotage: destructive or obstructive action carried on by a civilian or enemy agent to hinder a nation’s war effort; an act or process tending to hamper or hurt; deliberate subversion

No matter how gifted and anointed you are if you do not deal with your issues, you will sabotage yourself. I learn this day-by-day, night by night as God continues to work on me. Behind the smile, is someone who goes through ups, downs and struggles just like everyone else!

As has been often said, you can’t fix what you won’t face. Our ugliness. Our shame. Our sin. Our private hurts and struggles. God knows it all anyway. It takes a great deal of grace and courage to Own Your Ugly. It takes gumption, moxie and a willingness to allow God to help you to see yourself, then allow him to heal you and then take the steps to face the future without condemnation or fear.

It is possible to operate in your gifting and talent and still be very broken on the inside. It is possible to be on an upward tick professionally – receiving accolades, joy and a sense of wellbeing and worth from your work and the outside, but if on the inside you feel like a sham or you know that the underbelly of your life is not right, then eventually it will catch up with you.

This is what happens when famous people with big names come crashing down due to some moral failure or character flaw. They knew they had issues all along. But they kept it moving anyway. They kept up the façade. But the whole time, the underlying ugly never disappears – it just gets bigger and bigger until it reaches the fullness of time and is exposed!

Pain is God’s way of helping us come out of denial. Truth is what is healing and restorative. It is the truth that we KNOW and DO that sets us free. We must move from mental assent of our situation to actually taking the steps necessary to change. No one said that it would be easy. Truth is painful but healing. Living in denial will ultimately kill us and on top of that we pass the issue on down to the next generations.

One of the primary ways in which we live in denial and refuse to Own Our Ugly is in our relationships. Especially the dead-end ones! We gloss over the issues. We live in the fantasy that with our love and investment that the situation will change. In the meantime, our anxiety grows. Our peace disappears. We are hurting. Staying in a dead-end situation is an ultimate form of Self-Sabotage because you are pouring your emotional, spiritual, mental energy into someone who does not have the capacity to reciprocate. This leaves you not only in a self-sabotaged state but also emotionally bankrupt.

Beloved, Own Your Ugly. Take the time to Get Real and Be Healed! Fix it and Face it so that you can move forward in your life with purpose, joy and peace! For more information on breaking free from dead-end relationships and walking in completeness order your copy of Get Out of that Dead-End Relationship NOW! A Christian Woman’s Guide on How to Get Real, Healed & Move On today at in paperback or Kindle or for an autographed copy go to


One thought on “Self Sabotage: Own Your Ugly!

  1. Pingback: Tonika Breeden – Self Sabotage: Own Your Ugly!

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