Whenever I scroll through my Facebook timeline and I see that particular person’s post, I still feel some kind of way… Every time I hear that song, see/hear that person, smell that fragrance, drive by that house, I remember what happened…I can’t be/have/do this or that because of what happened to me so there is no point in me trying…I am damaged goods..
And there you go again, on another emotional or mental tangent. Wasting a precious 5, 10, 15 minutes of your life — or depending on the nature and severity of the situation, an entire day. Another sad day of wasted emotional energy. For some, we suck it up and pretend it doesn’t exist, but it sneaks out in being snappy, uptight and mean. It shows up when we are easily triggered, touchy and offended at the least little thing.
Petty offenses. Insecurities. Judgments about other people’s intentions and their lives as if we (like we are God) know exactly why they did what they did to hurt us and that they truly had an evil intent to do us wrong. Often, we create lots of wild theories about why a person did or didn’t do a particular thing for us or to us based on our negative and limited perception. Everything is all about us and our feelings and how we feel. Every interaction is filtered through the lens of how we see ourselves.
Sadly, this type low level living where the bulk of our emotional and spiritual energy is spent. We allow what happened between us and other people in the Past to live on and give the Past permission and power to speak over our lives. Instead of simply owning our emotions and taking back our personal power that Christ died for us to have, we choose to remain stuck.
Sometimes, the Past affects us in a much deeper, subconscious and profound way such that we totally disconnect from our true feelings and numb the pain with food, being busy, hiding behind our church activities, work, and our children. We struggle with depression and anxiety. We do everything we can in church or ministry activities to avoid feeling or dealing with the pain. We go to church and hide behind the fake smiles and hallelujahs.
Shannon Yvette Tanner in Worthy: The Power of Wholeness states, “Failed relationships, mistakes, regrets, past wounds and offenses, cloud our judgment and rob us of joy. We have limited emotional energy. When 20% or 50% of our emotional energy is used up on past regrets or old resentments, we hinder new growth and clarity of thought.”
Wow. Think about it. How much emotional energy do you spend right now thinking about, remembering, and replaying the same memories and hurts over and over again? How much more new personal growth have you missed out on because you are still nursing old wounds? How much clarity of thought and peace have you forfeited because of letting your Past live and linger in your thought life for excessive amounts of time?
Only God knows where all of our lives could be if allowed the Past to die, stopped giving it permission to speak, took charge of our thoughts and emotions, and showed up at 100%.
It is pointless to pray for peace and clarity of thought, if you won’t let the Past die. It is impossible to hear God speak to you about your purpose in life, if you keep giving your Past permission to speak.
We literally are what we think. What we think about, we bring about. Where you are in life right now — right at this moment is a sum total of your best thoughts and actions up until this point. So if you are not satisfied with your life, the answer is not in blaming, brewing and stewing on what someone did to you in the past, but rather it is within in you – your own thought life and feelings.
The best way to let the Past die is to come to grips with it, make peace with it and move on. Let it go. Just like on the news, when the TV station keeps replaying the car accident scene over and over again, you must stop replaying those same old mental movies. We let go of the past by renewing our mind in the Word, good books and teaching to re-train your mind. We let go of the past by reconnecting with ourselves and digging deep to understand who we are, and our identity as children of God through daily prayer and quiet time. We let go of our Past by living in community and fellowshipping with others who genuinely care and are intentional about their personal growth. As Paul states in, Philippians 3:13 – Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are BEHIND, and reaching forth unto those things which are BEFORE and in Isaiah 43:18 we are called to “Remember NOT the FORMER things, neither consider the things of OLD. Behold, I will do a NEW thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye know it?
So stop looking back at what is behind (THE PAST) and giving it power and permission to live and to speak. No longer actively remember and consider the former things or the things of OLD. Reach forward and allow God to do a new thing in your life. Get your emotional energy back to where it belongs – not the PAST but in your PURPOSE!
Until next time,
For more information on walking in emotional wholeness or ending dead-end relationships, order your copy of Get Out of that Dead-End Relationship NOW! A Christian Woman’s Guide on How to Get Real, Healed & Move On TODAY! Available at http://www.amazon.com in paperback or Kindle or for an autographed copy go to www.tonikabreeden.com.