Do you Want Peace or Do You Want Pain? Then Stay In Your Lane!

The Danger of Judging Someone Else’s Journey

Do You Want Peace or Do You Want Pain_Correct

Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. Matthew 7: 1-2(NLT)

“Observe Life Rather than Judge It” – Shannon Yvette Tanner

Judgement. What a harsh sounding word. “Oh, I’m not a judgmental person…” Yet all of us – yes, I’m including myself, are guilty of doing it.

If I sit in judgment of you as a person, it really means that I believe I know as much as God does about you.

It means that I believe I’m so smart, so all knowing, so anointed, and so gifted that I am perfectly capable of discerning the true motives behind your words, actions, decisions and choices.

Now don’t get me wrong, as Christians, we are clearly called to speak against and call out clear wrongdoing and to judge that rightly. I’m not talking about that type of judgment.

I’m talking about the judgment that goes on when we judge someone else’s journey — -their life choices, how they implement and execute their lifestyle, their business, their ministry, and their calling. I’m talking about the comparisons, the jumping to conclusions, assuming that we know something to be true based on our limited perspective, when in fact our theory is far from the truth. I admit, I’m guilty of this.

We see something on Facebook and automatically jump to some conclusion that is erroneous. We assume things only to find out later we were wrong. We compare our lives to someone else’s lives and either think we have missed the boat because they appear to be ahead of us or we sometimes we think we are better than them.

Remember, we only see from the outside looking in, but God looks at the heart (1 Sam. 16:7)

When we sit in judgment, our very judgment mirrors a reflection back on ourselves. The extent, degree and severity we judge others with is the extent and degree that we judge ourselves. If we are very hard on others, we will also be very hard on ourselves. This is a painful way to live and blocks the peace that Christ gives.

For those of us who are called to serve others in an influential capacity, can we effectively reach and minister to people when we secretly sit in judgment of them? Can we honestly serve people if deep down we think that we are better than them? How does sitting in judgment inspire true transformative change? I don’t know about you, but I’m inspired and motivated to change and do better through love than with harsh judgement.

A subtle, but very common example of the way in which we judge is when we see someone else moving ahead and making progress — i.e., they obtain quite easily the thing that we have been working, struggling and praying for a long time and we think the thought: “God, why her/him?” This is actually JUDGING SOMEONE ELSE’S BLESSING! Who are we to judge when or how someone else gets blessed?

But haven’t we all at one point or another done this? We think we know why someone did something or that we have a “revelation” and then create theories based on feelings and not the truth. It creates unnecessary suffering. When we fail to stay in our lane, we create pain.

This also happens too when we are disconnected from our own journey – our own calling. If we simply focused on our own journey and stayed in our own lane, we would be too busy to fixate on and judge someone else’s journey. We will be making our own moves and can celebrate with them instead of judging them or asking why.

The next step close to judging is when we attempt to fix and heal someone else at the expense of our own growth. Instead of letting people live their lives and go through their own consequences so that they can learn, we try to jump in and be their Savior to fix and heal them. We try to do more fixing than God does! God doesn’t jump in to fix us. He waits for us to seek Him, ask for help and submit to Him.

When we make a judgment about someone’s journey and then try to fix them in our feeble efforts, we circumvent their growth process. We create more of a mess and a wreck by jumping in with our judging and fixing than by simply praying and allowing life to unfold. This is much easier said than done, especially when it comes to the ones we love!

Judging someone else’s journey is a manifestation of our own judgment and diminishing of ourselves. If we are really and truly walking in alignment with who we are in God and actually believing what God says about us as we grow and transform, we won’t continuously diminish and judge ourselves and others so harshly. We won’t be so prideful and anxious about other people’s journeys that we attempt to judge and fix them.

When we function out of our lane and get in God’s lane, we get lost. When we try to operate in someone else’s lane, we crash and wreck. However, when we stay in our own lane – leaving the judging, fixing, comparing behind, there is peace – Benne Brown

Remember – if you want peace over pain – stay in your lane. Stay out of judgment!

Until next time,



For more information on walking in emotional wholeness or ending dead-end relationships, order your copy of Get Out of that Dead-End Relationship NOW! A Christian Woman’s Guide on How to Get Real, Healed & Move On TODAY! Available at in paperback or Kindle or for an autographed copy go to


One thought on “Do you Want Peace or Do You Want Pain? Then Stay In Your Lane!

  1. Pingback: Tonika Breeden - Do you Want Peace or Do You Want Pain? Then Stay In Your Lane!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s