3 Ways We Deceive Ourselves: Loops, Lies & Limits


If you believe a lie, you will live a lie. If you lie to yourself, you will lie to others.

The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick, who can understand it” (Jere 17:9) Jeremiah quickly adds, I, the Lord, search the heart and I test the mind, even to give to each man according to his ways, according to the results of his deeds.” (v.10)

When a person is spiritually blind they cannot see themselves or how their actions, behaviors or attitudes affect themselves or others. They walk in darkness thinking they are in the light. They prefer the comfortable lies that they tell themselves instead of the very uncomfortable and painful truth.

Folly is the root cause of deception. According to the Dictionary of Bible Themes, folly is “The attitude that leads to a closing of the mind towards God and his truth, and a false self-confidence, which results in being easily led astray, failure to see danger, unpreparedness and ultimate ruin.” All of the foolishness we see in this world can be directly attributed to the closing of the human mind towards the truth of God and our egotistical self confidence that makes us think we know better and are smarter than the One Who Created Us!

Without filtering our minds – our very lives through the word of God, we can very easily and unwittingly live out a lie because of simply being foolish. A life of truth and authenticity can only be lived through constant immersion in the Word of God. A human mind and heart, if left to its own devices will always revert to self-deception. That is why Jesus came. That is why we needed Him. He came to not only sacrifice his life for our sins, but to also provide the Holy Spirit, known as the Spirit of Truth to live and to dwell in us.

Let’s take a look at how the definitions a lie, deceive and to self-deceive:

Lie: to speak untruthfully with intent to mislead or deceive; a false statement deliberately presented as being true; a falsehood. Something meant to deceive or give a wrong impression. To present false information with the intention of deceiving.

Deceive: To cause to believe what is not true; mislead; to lead another into error, danger, or a disadvantageous position by underhand means

Self-deceive: the act or an instance of deceiving oneself, especially as to the true nature of one’s feelings or motives; the act of lying to yourself or of making yourself believe something that isn’t really true.

An example of self-deception would be to convince yourself that your boyfriend is deeply in love and is faithful to you, all the while you are snooping around checking his cell phone and his pants pockets for evidence of cheating. Another example would be to go through the motions of having a real relationship and going through all of the motions or outward manifestations of an appearance of a relationship, but just below the surface, there is no meaningful connection beyond the physical.

When we deceive ourselves we are deliberately believing what is not true about ourselves, situations and circumstances. We are leading ourselves into error, danger and other disadvantages through an underhanded method in our own minds. It is like stabbing your own self in the back and then looking back to see who did it.

Interestingly enough, we persist in these behaviors year and year because at some point the self-deception becomes so ingrained in us, so much a part of who we are that we believe that it is the truth.


This is the first way in which we deceive ourselves. A loop is defined as something having a shape, order, or path of motion that is circular or curved over on itself. Our self-deception can cause our thinking two become so twisted and deep rooted that we are unable to distinguish the truth about ourselves and our situations without the help of God. Wow. We create a closed circuit or mental loop that is extremely difficult to break — also known as a mental stronghold. We are called to cast down every imagination and stronghold that exalts itself against the knowledge of God.


Secondly, because of the fallen nature of man, a lie is more palatable to us than the truth. Our fallen nature causes us to lie to ourselves and the enemy of our soul, who is also known as the Father of Lies, works in conjunction with our propensity for self-deception in order to abort the original plan of God for our lives.

We believe the soul level lies that whisper to us in our moments of weakness, doubt, fear and indecision. We allow the shame of our past mistakes and the unfolding consequences to become so big, bigger than the truth of God’s Word and His thoughts toward us that the lies scream louder than the truth. You know, the lie that says, “I’m not enough – not good enough, not smart enough, don’t have it all together enough, etc.” The lie that says “I’m not worthy and I don’t deserve it.” The lie that says “No one is thinking about me, no one cares, no one loves me.”

Because of these soul level lives that permeate the depths of our being, we subconsciously place limits on our lives.


We hear the term “limiting beliefs” quite frequently these days in the arena of personal development and self-improvement.   The term is quite true. The root a limiting belief is a lie. The root of the lie is a stronghold or a mental loop created from years of self-deception and faulty thinking. When we persist in living a lie, deceiving ourselves and rejecting the truth about who we are in spite of what God says about us, who we are and what His plans are for our lives, our lives become limited and stunted.

Having a mind full of self-limiting believes causes us to live small. We diminish our lives. We stay small because it is more comfortable to live in our limits than to expand our thinking. Once our thinking is expanded with the truth, we are unable to go back to the way we were. The more evolved and expanded we become by renewing and transforming our thinking the bigger we become on the inside and our outer lives will line up to match it.

Receiving, walking in and living in the truth is not easy. As a matter of fact, opening the eyes of our understanding to the truth can be quite painful. There is a quote out there that states, “The truth hurts, but doesn’t kill but a lie pleases and doesn’t heal.” However, the reality is that the truth hurts and heals, but a lie kills altogether. It might be a slow death, but a death nonetheless. A death of our potential. The death of destiny and purpose. The death of a life that was intended to be maximized for the glory of God.

Let not this be your testimony! Take the time to immerse your mind in the truth of God’s word. Take the time to examine your life and see if there are any repeating, recurring patterns in your thinking, ways and habits that are no longer serving you. If what you are doing and thinking is causing you more pain and harm, take a long deep look at what you need to change in your thinking. Marshawn Evans stated, “Dysfunctional thinking attracts dysfunction.” Change your thinking and change your life. No more self-deception!

For FREE audio on 3 Signs of a Toxic relationship go to my website at www.tonikabreeden.com .For more information on walking in emotional wholeness or ending dead-end relationships, order your copy of Get Out of that Dead-End Relationship NOW! A Christian Woman’s Guide on How to Get Real, Healed & Move On TODAY! Available at http://www.amazon.com in paperback or Kindle or for an autographed copy go to www.tonikabreeden.com


One thought on “3 Ways We Deceive Ourselves: Loops, Lies & Limits

  1. Pingback: Tonika Breeden - 3 Ways We Deceive Ourselves: Loops, Lies & Limits

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