Issues of the Heart Pt. 2: Heart Expansion, Elevation & Establishment

(The 3 stages of Purpose & Love)

In my last blog post, we talked about why our hearts needed to expanded and enlarged for God’s love to flow through, for His purposes and plans for our lives to manifest and for us to be fruitful while we are on this earth.  Without an expanded heart, we will not have the depth or capacity to maintain and sustain Kingdom love (relationships/marriage) and walk in our purpose the way God originally intended.  Go check out it here.

Today, let’s talk about the next stages of heart development — Elevation.

Every layer of healing brings a new level of elevation. When you learn the lesson, you elevate.

 

To elevate or elevation: raise or lift (something) up to a higher position; to raise to a more important or impressive level; promote; upgrade; advance; enhance; to increase the level or amount of.

As we learned in the previous post, the process of heart expansion is literally the process of healing, purging and delivering the heart. Once the heart is walking in greater degrees of healing and wholeness, the next stage is elevation.  With every breakthrough, with every fresh freedom that comes from the removal of a bondage, there is a lightness and an elevation within the heart.

Hearts are meant to be light and free from bondage, sin, deception, darkness, bitterness, grief and sorrow.  We are created to live as beings full of love and light. Anytime there is damage, unprocessed pain, bondage and darkness within the heart, it is burdened.  When deep healing and purging occurs, there is more space for love.  There is more space for grace.  There is more space for the power of God to flow through. The burden is removed and there is lightness. Just like a hot air balloon tethered to the ground with weights, so does sin and pain burden down the heart.  When the weight is purged from the heart, it expands just like the balloon rises to the sky when the weight is removed.

Taking this a step further, when we learn the lessons that the sin, pain, brokenness, struggle or issue taught us and are able to walk with away from it with wisdom, we have now moved into the next stage of elevation.

For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. – Prov. 2:10

 

Lessons learned equate to wisdom won.  Wisdom won equates to PURPOSE.  Wisdom gleaned through the process of expanding and elevating the heart is a special wisdom that God intends to use for His greater purpose and to work out for good for those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

When we have been healed and set free from the inside out, we must acknowledge that we have been given a great gift.  To whom much is given, much is required (Luke 12:48).  We cannot receive the gift of heart expansion along with the related blessings and then fail to reciprocate or give back.

Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water. – John 7:38

 

The way we give back is by elevating into our purpose – our calling.  When we have believed, received, and learned the lessons our soul needed, then comes the rivers of living waters that can help other people.  Rivers of living water can only flow from an expanded and elevated heart. We elevate our hearts when we give up the false pride of saying “I can’t do it”, and humbly walk out the gifts, talents, dreams and calling that we have been assigned based on the lessons learned and our gifts.

To be truly walking in a degree of elevation, requires that we answer the call of purpose.  When we begin to move out in the gifts, callings, talents and dreams that God has placed into us, we have now embarked on our life’s calling – the reason why we were put on this earth in the first place.  Oftentimes, the things we have suffered from and survived are the very things that hold the key to living a life of profound significance and meaning.

Many are called, but few are chosen (Matt 22:14).

The difference between the called and the chosen is that the chosen Chose to Answer. – Marshawn Evans Daniels

 

The choice to answer the call to purpose is the foundation of heart elevation.  Your heart absolutely must come up higher if you expect to serve Him in any capacity.  Not in a proud, haughty way, but in the ways and purposes of God. Your heart must come up higher in thoughts, intents and motives.  Our hearts must operate from the motivation and intention of God’s will as it is expressed in surrendered life.  We don’t like the word surrender, but it is a soul level surrender and humility to say yes to purpose and yes to the call.  It is pride and arrogance to run and hide.

I’ve heard it said that we want the crown without the cross.  We want the outward accolades, validation, fame, success, money that comes from outward elevation, but we don’t want the responsibility and the weight to show up that elevation calls for.  Elevation is a matter of the heart.  Before there is an outward elevation, there is always an inner elevation first.  The elevation of thoughts to God’s thoughts and ways must occur (for His thoughts and ways are higher (Isaiah 55:8).  The elevation of our speech, our prayers, and how we show up and conduct ourselves has to be in place.  Once these things start to occur,  the outward manifestation of an inner elevation will soon manifest.

When God sees that we can be trusted with the call, without being in a state of pride, then He is The One who orchestrates the outward elevation also known as promotion.

For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another. – Psalm 75: 6-7.

 

Outward promotion without inner elevation always results in disaster.  When a heart is still tiny and small due to unhealed wounds and unprocessed pain, if premature outward elevation occurs, the end result is usually destruction and delay.  The heart expansion and heart elevation must happen first on the inside so that we are rooted, grounded fixed and founded in the love of God.  This keeps us from being prone to seeking validation and approval from other people.  Seeking external validation and approval is always a sign of heart insecurity which must be healed.

I encourage you today to not sit on your healing process.  When you have allowed God to expand your heart by going thru the healing process, don’t simply stop there and refuse to move forward in your purpose.  Take the next step and begin to elevate into purpose. Elevate to the high calling of God that you were born for.  Let not the pain of the past or other people’s opinions keep you stuck.  As Felix Anderson states, “You had a purpose before anyone had an opinion.”

Take the high road and do not give up on the talents, gifts, dreams and lessons learned that have been refined and expanded in the fire of life.  Answer the call and elevate! Keep pressing towards the mark of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus! Philippians 3:14

 

Until next time,

 

TB

 

Issues of the Heart Pt. 1: How God Enlarges & Expands Our Hearts for Kingdom, Purpose & Love

(Mismanaging Your Heart Can Cost You!)

We think we are ready for love but the truth be told, our hearts are not ready to handle the weight of authentic partnership.  We are not emotionally and spiritually mature to have the capacity required to sustain and maintain the level of sacrifice, understanding, compassion and forgiveness that a real relationship requires.  Love is not a mere feeling.  It is not tingly feelings, longings, desires, sexual attraction and arousal.  People say that “Love is not blind”.  Not so! Real love is very aware and full of light and knowledge.  Why? Because God is love and the last time I checked, God is not blind!  This means that love is not illogical, nonsensical, all over the place and characterized by unstable feelings and emotions.  Love is intentional, logical, wise, knowledgeable and sacrificial in nature.

To love the way God loves requires a fundamental transformation of the human heart.  In order for our hearts to be prepared for and ready to receive, give, retain and sustain true, authentic Kingdom Love, the Lord does three things with our hearts.  First, He enlarges our hearts.  Secondly, he elevates our hearts and thirdly, He establishes His Kingdom in our hearts.  In this post, I we will only address the expansion of our hearts and in the next post, I will address how he elevates our hearts and establishes His Kingdom in our hearts.

Enlarge: make or become bigger or more extensive; to make larger, increase in extent, bulk, to increase the capacity or expand the scope of; extend, grow, expand, amplify, augment, magnify, build up, supplement

Scriptures:

Psalm 119:32 – I shall run the way of Your commandments, For You will enlarge my heart.

Various translations of the above scripture, indicate that an enlarged heart is a willing, understanding and free heart.  It is heart set free, renewed and inclined towards God, the things of God and serving Him.  A heart like this is willing to obey God and has the capacity to function and flow in love and be very fruitful.  A heart like this is large, has depth, scope, capacity to fully receive from God and others as well as give.  A heart like this is fruitful and productive. The issues of life that flow from a heart like this always lead to righteousness, peace and joy. A heart like this can handle a bigger flow of anointing, power and grace to do mighty things.  A heart like this mirrors the heart of God — the heart of Christ.

To better understand what it means for God to enlarge our hearts, we must first understand what it means when the heart is small.

A small heart is the condition of the human heart when it is broken.  I would also say that a heart like this lacks the saving grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ, but I would be wrong.  Why? Because there are a lot of people who have experienced the grace of God and are believers, yet their hearts remain small and hard.  Heart enlargement is a choice and a process.  A person must be willing to go through and grow through the enlargement process.

A small heart is hard and diminished because of the effect of sin such as pride, unforgiveness, bitterness, fear, insecurity, jealousy, anger, numbness, strife, grief, unrighteousness and so on.  If my heart is small and diminished, then very little love, grace, and power can flow through.  The Kingdom of God cannot be established in a tiny, small and hardened heart!  A heart like this can have a small amount of it, but because the heart is not enlarged enough due to unresolved pain, sin and issues crowding it up, it cannot receive.  A person with a heart like this cannot handle the weight of the full mantle of God’s original intent and purpose for their lives.  A heart like this is more likely to attract unhealthy, toxic or dead-end relationships and repel healthy relationships.  A heart like this is predisposed to deception and becoming further entangled and ensnared by sin.

Hearts become hard and small when we “mismanage moments” (a term I learned from Dr. Matthew Stevenson) over a long period of time that it becomes a mentality or a stronghold.  Mismanaged moments occur when we fail to develop self-awareness, check in with God and allow our hearts to go unchecked for extended periods of time by staying busy and overwhelmed.  In times like these, it is very easy to live in a state of distraction and heart mismanagement where we are totally unaware and unconscious of what is going on in the inside.  When this occurs we,

  1. Allow hurts & offences to fester
  2. Being easily offended & sensitive when under stress
  3. Numb/Run/Check Out (TV, social media, busyness, recreation, work, drugs, sex, etc.)
  4. Fail to discipline our thoughts. (where mind goes, mouth & body follows)

Every mismanaged moment builds up over time and leads to a mismanaged heart that is shrinking and diminishing instead of growing and expanding.

So how does God work in our lives to enlarge our hearts?  Heart enlargement involves the process of preparing our heart for more of God’s love so that we can be prepared to not only have healthy relationships but to fulfill His call, His plan and His purposes in the earth.  Heart issues must be exposed, purged and the heart healed in order for expansion to occur.  When these issues are exposed and worked thru, by healing, deliverance, prayer, confession, counseling then the heart becomes enlarged.   The debris and scars and dead tissue has bene removed making space for grace and space for God’s love.

Heart enlargement or expansion is NECESSARY, why?

  • For you to flow in purpose and flow in love. GOD IS LOVE.
  • For you to be fruitful & multiply (Gen 1:28), be fruit that remains (John 15:16) and occupy until He comes (Luke 19:13).
  • To be like Him – John 3:16 for God so loved that He gave. To have a big, large heart like His.
  • To love others that you are called to serve and be in relationship with — marriage, family, friends and connected to. (we want to be married but our hearts are small and full of junk that would run a potential partner away or we would attract another person with a similar heart situation)
  • To receive greater degrees of insight, wisdom & understanding necessary for life and for kingdom advancement. Wise hearts are expanded hearts.
    • The wise in heart are called discerning, and gracious words promote instruction. Prov. 16:21
    • Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. – Psalm 90:12

If you really want to be ready for love, then you must be willing to go thru the process of heart expansion!  If you want a fruitful life that is one of significance to the Kingdom of God – a life of purpose then you must submit to the process of heart expansion. It’s not always pretty and can be painful.  But very necessary and produces fruit.

Two Ways God Uses to expand your heart for Love and for Your Purpose

The process of heart expansion is also the process of sanctification, healing and deliverance.  Our hearts are daily expanded every time we are intentional to:

  • Grow from Spiritual disciplines – prayer, Bible study, fasting, being in fellowship with other believers.
  • Grow from Tests and temptations, people, situations and circumstances that God allows for you to see what is in your heart. The only way to grow through these things is to be intentional to collect the wisdom and lesson in each experience.  Without reflection and self-awareness of what is going on inside, the same patterns, problems and cycles will keep showing up.

So, when you pray for love, for marriage, for the call, for your dream — EXPECT to be EXPANDED!!!!  Don’t run from the process!

Failure to submit to the process of expanding your heart will cause you to:

  • Greatly diminish or sometimes forfeit and not even walk in your purpose.
  • Miss out on opportunities because of unprocessed pain and heart issues.
  • Miss out on real love by self-sabotaging or staying in dead-end relationships because an unhealthy heart will always attract another unhealthy heart.
  • Spiritual death

Take your heart management very seriously. Don’t go long periods without checking in with self and God on the condition of heart.  It’s very easy to ignore, dumb, numb, pretend, over spiritualize without really being honest with what is going on inside. We must tend to our hearts daily by asking God to create in us clean hearts and renew a right spirit (Ps 51:10) knowing that God doesn’t look at our outside, but the inside – our motives, intents, thoughts, purposes. When we do this, we are well underway in our process of heart expansion and will see positive changes, freedom and healing over time.  Don’t give up.  Keep moving forward!  Stay tuned for Elevation and Establishment next.

TB

 

 

 

The Queen’s Guide on How To Handle A Break – Up: 4 Key Principles On Handling Your Break-up with Dignity and Move On With Your Life.

Repeat after me:

“I am a Queen. I am not common!”

Break-ups, even good ones are always painful.  Depending on which side you are on – i.e., you were broken up with or you initiated the break-up, it still hurts.

Regardless of how things went down, the period right after the break-up is the time where even the most calm, cool and collected woman feels emotionally crazed, unglued and undone.  It is the period where every thought imaginable runs through your head, your heart hurts, you can’t eat, barely sleep, fighting off the overwhelming urge to text, email, call, get further closure, explain and talk more, check-in, and on and on..

But as a Queen, you can’t afford to do this.  Nope.  Now more than ever is the time to really depend upon your Power Source, that is Christ Within you to help you hold it together during this vulnerable and critical season.

The first thing is to remember is Who you are in Christ.   As a child of God and daughter of the King, you have at your disposal the capacity to do several things during this time to help you regain your bearings and conduct yourself as royalty even when you feel like a hot mess on the inside.

Queenly Principle #1 – Rest in Quietness & Confidence

Scripture Focus: Isaiah 30:15 – For thus saith the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: “In returning and rest shall ye be saved, in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength; but ye would not.

Note the first key word – rest.  Rest is defined as ceasing work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself or recover strength.  In the context of a break-up, your first job is to rest in Christ so that you can recover your strength.  This means you are not working and toiling in your mind, pouring over the last 24 hours, the words spoken during the break-up, all of the events leading up to, every subtle nuance of every conversation, email and text message and so forth.  No!  All of this equals WORK.  It is not rest.  It is not easy but doable.  To rest in Christ means to take your concerns, your heartbreak, your wounds and your pain to God first.  It means prayer.  It means crying it out.  It means allowing yourself to feel the pain and moving through it with God and not all of your friends.  Once you do this, peace and ease will settle into your soul.

The difference between a Queen and a Common Girl or a Slave Girl is that the Common Girl will WORK.  In her wounded emotions and pain, she will slave, toil, and strive to figure out what to do next to get him back.  Because of the pain and because missing him is too much to bear, she throws caution to the wind and is completely led by wild runaway emotions.  The only goal is to alleviate her pain by getting him back or trying to be “friends” immediately so he won’t think “bad” of her and this causes her to appear desperate and needy.  This is VERY un-Queen like and delays the healing process.

The Queen, on the other hand, although she has all of the same feelings, is able to ride out the emotional storm without losing control.  She seeks God and settles into a place of peace and POISE.    This peace and poise comes from remembering the scripture above that states, “in QUIETNESS and CONFIDENCE shall be your strength.  Remember, as a Queen, you are to conduct yourself with poise at all times.  Quietness and confidence is NOT sending random text messages to “say hey, check in, this reminded me of you, I’m praying for you”, calling him, leaving messages, sending long emails, “accidentally” running into him out in public, etc.  These types of behaviors scream the exact opposite – loud and insecure!

Queenly poise is developed by learning how to hold your peace while you heal and leaving it in God’s hands to work out.  A Queen trusts that God has her best interests and her back at all times and she need not obsess about what he is doing, what he is thinking, what he is feeling, does he miss me, etc.  She knows that God can fix any situation and God knows how to speak to this man to get his attention at the right time and the right way.  She has learned that it is better to trust and rest in God than to get herself all worked up and dirty trying to fix a situation on her own.  A Queen knows that the battle is not hers, but Gods (scripture reference).  She has already prayed, not my will but Thine be done…

Queenly Principle #2 – Remain Seated in Christ

Scripture Focus: Ephesians 2:6 – and he raised us up with him and SEATED us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus and Colossians 3:1-2 – Therefore, if you have been raised with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, SEATED at the right hand of God.

To be seated in Christ, within the context of getting over a break-up is to be seated emotionally and mentally. It means to remember who you are in Christ.  As a Queen, you are in an ELEVATED position in Christ.  Your life is hidden in Christ and you are seated in power and position with HIM.  You can’t afford to step down from your position and behave like a common girl enslaved and entangled in her emotions.

Being seated in Christ means being SECURE.  A Queen receives her personal security and worth from who she is as a child of God.  Her security and worth is not based on her relationship status.  She is secure in Christ.  As a Queen seated in Christ, my heart and my mind must follow my position as a Queen anchored to Christ.  A Queen seeks to remain connected to Christ as we are exhorted to do in John 15:4.

Even in the midst of a break-up, a Queen’s life must continue to flow out of her secured and seated position in Christ.  This means that a Queen THINKS before she acts on any emotional impulse or urge during the early weeks after a break-up, especially any thought patterns and resulting actions that could cause her to get up from her seated position in Christ.   Actions such as texting, calling, social media stalking, driving by his home or work, “accidentally” running into him or allowing thoughts about other women, what is he doing, feeling jealous to run rampant. All of this drives deep insecurity and emotional instability. A Queen settles this security issue by knowing who she is and her worth and value in Christ and using this break up season as a time of healing and reflection.

A Common girl, enslaved by her emotions and insecurities, will not remain seated emotionally, mentally or physically.  She will run around all over the place — thinking, saying and doing things she should not be doing from a place of emotional pain.  She puts herself in the dangerous position of being further injured on top of the original break-up because of not being able to stay seated long enough to begin the healing process.  Instead of reflecting, healing and preparing for her next season, a slave girl 1) chases her ex or 2) get entangled in a rebound relationship in order to avoid her pain.

As Queens we must walk wisely and circumspectly with the realization that the devil, the enemy of our souls always wants us to focus on our CONDITION instead of our POSITION.  In other words,  if we are looking at appearances, the break-up ,what happened, our anxious feelings, how angry and hurt we are, what he could be doing now, obsessing and analyzing then it becomes VERY difficult to remain in our elevated POSITION.

However, as Queens if we remain conscious and aware of our seated POSITION in Christ, we will have the POWER to CHANGE OUR CONDITION!

Catch that Queens!  If you remember who you are and your position in Christ, you have the POWER to CHANGE YOUR CONDITION.  Either way, the break-up will be for your ultimate good because you are in God’s hands and your condition will soon change.  You will go higher and no longer be the same person you were before the break-up.  Don’t dwell on your current conditions — remember your Position!

Queenly Principle #3 – Receive Healing & Revelation

Scripture Focus: Healing Scripture – Psalm 147:3 (GNT) He heals the broken-hearted and bandages their wounds. Revelation Scripture – Ephesians 1: 17-18 (GNT) ….and ask the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, to give you the Spirit, who will make you wise and reveal God to you, so that you will know him. 18 I ask that your minds may be opened to see his light, so that you will know what is the hope to which he has called you, how rich are the wonderful blessings he promises his people.

As Queens, we have settled down into a place of rest so that we can regain our strength from the emotional blow of a break up and have peace.  WE have made the conscious choice to not dwell on our condition of now being newly single, fresh from a painful break-up but rather to remain aware of our seated and elevated position in Christ.

We are now in a position to receive healing of our hearts and revelation for our next season.

Healing is a choice.  We must chose to heal and grow thru in the midst of a relationship break-up. Time does not heal all wounds if we are not self-aware and intentional to reflect and learn the lessons.  Many women are still just as emotionally raw and unhealed from divorces and relationship break-ups that occurred 10 years ago as if they happened yesterday.  Healing requires intention and a deep desire to be made whole.

If we remain at rest and seated in Christ we will position ourselves for optimal growth and healing.  The season after a break up has the greatest potential for significant personal growth and development if we steward the season wisely and not waste our emotional and mental energy stuck in the pain.

In order to heal appropriately from a break-up, we must take a step back, reflect and ponder on what happened in the relationship and actually OWN our part of the relationship demise. Queens ask God and themselves the following questions:

  • What do I need to heal on the inside?
  • What needs to be revealed to me about this situation?
  • Were there any red flags and warnings that I overlooked about this relationship that God was trying to show me in the beginning?
  • What in me attracted this situation in my life?

After receiving answers to these questions, as Queens we must now turn our pain, anger, hurt over to God.  We must now OWN our role in it, forgive ourselves, and forgive him.  Blaming, lack of self-compassion and un-forgiveness to ourselves and to the man involved will not serve us and only attract the same relationship again until we learn the lessons from the questions above.  We must learn the lessons our souls need to know so that we grow.  As Queens, we don’t’ want to keep repeating the same patterns over and over again.  IT’s the same as flunking and repeating the same grade over and over again in school.  We don’t want to repeat the grade therefore we take all the time we need to heal and receive the revelation we need.

This means taking the time to journal, pray, read and study the Bible and other books to receive healing and understanding.  This means spending alone time with yourself and also taking time to nurture your dreams and passions.  This means learning to walk in greater degrees of personal worthiness and wholeness – i.e., learning to love yourself in a healthy way so that you are not needy and searching for love and validation from a man.

A common girl or a slave, however, would rather not go through this process because it can be uncomfortable.  It’s much easier to run from her emotions, stay busy and overwhelmed, allow loneliness and a strong need for male attention to drive her.  So instead of taking the time to receive healing and revelation, she gets on Netflix, scrolls thru her social media accounts, hangs out drinking with friends and getting entangled in meaningless encounters with men in an attempt to alleviate pain and receive male attention.  By doing this, she creates more damage to her soul and perpetuates the same patterns and will attract men that mean her no good.

As Queens who have now received healing and revelation, we embark on a new season.  Every time healing and revelation is received, a new season is always inevitable because once you heal, learn and grow, you are never again the same person you were before the break-up.  IT’s on to a new season and a new you!

Queenly Principle #3 – Reign & Rule in Life

Scripture Focus: Romans 5:17 – For if by one man’s offense death reigned by one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and the gift of righteousness shall REIGN in life by One, Jesus Christ.

Rulership means ownership.   We must own our lives — the good the bad the ugly, even things that happened beyond our control, stuff caused by other people, the devil, God whoever.  We must take FULL RESPONSIBILITY. We can’t say we are Queens and walk in kingdom dominion and authority but reject certain parts of our lives because it wasn’t our fault or beyond our control.  To have dominion means to take responsibility and OWN all of it.  Once you own something you are now in a position to CHANGE It with God.  He won’t change it until you take the steps to stop blaming, making excuses, feeling sorry.  He wants us to rise up and own our own lives!

Breaking up is not easy, but if you don’t take the time to heal right, you will rebound into another relationship.  Take your time — rest, receive, reign and rule in order to be ready for the relationship that is worthy of you.