Stop Hustling, Start Healing

Are You Driven or are you CALLED?

Many of us feel so inclined to PUSH, to drive, to PROVE ourselves, to control the outcome, to make things happen!

We are living disconnected from our Source, under the diminishing pressures of a masculine system of DOING rather than a Divine feminine manifestation of BEING. But do we really have a CHOICE? If we stop, who will handle it? We’ve learned that NO one is going to come through for us…the weight is on our shoulders; the burden is on our backs…

This was the call of womanhood in the 21st Century.

For women of color, many times, we see our mothers on the go. Single mothers, working mothers, women who are isolated and struggling to be their own village… Then, we re-create the patterns we’ve seen growing up. We model the superwomen and force ourselves to “stay strong” and “keep it moving!”

What if we STOPPED hustling and took the time to HEAL?

In this era of the HUSTLE…

  • 75-80% of doctors’ visits and illness diagnosed in women are stress related.
  • Autoimmune disorders (lupus, type 1 diabetes) in women have increased by 30%.
  • Women are 40% more likely than men to develop mental illness.

We are overweight, over-worked, over-committed and over-extended. This masculine standard for achieving success is hurting our souls, our bodies, our mental well-being.

God is calling his daughters to RESTORATION.

  • What if we gave our hearts the tender caress it called for?
  • What if we SLOWED down for wisdom and entered into a season of EASE?
  • What if we took time to breathe, to cultivate our inner-garden of peace and spiritual wholeness?What if we ended the masculine model of persecuting and competing with one another and came together for Divine purpose, reclaiming the beauty of wholeness?

It is time to go beyond the force of driveness, and FLOW in Divine Calling….

By Divine design, we were made to RECEIVE. We were made to flow in wisdom and Queenhood.

You don’t see a QUEEN rushing, worrying or sweating. She reigns in calm poise and spiritual GRACE.

I invite you to be honored, celebrated and spiritually pampered in Girlfriend Therapy: a Sacred Sisterhood Circle Saturday Series, where we minister to the health of your soul.

This Saturday, March 24th 8 AM PACIFIC /10 AM CENTRAL / 11 AM EASTERN

RSVP HERE for this Free Girlfriends Therapy Time

In our time together, my spiritual mentor, Shannon Evette, will speak to the soul of a woman. She will call forth our place of feminine ease and divine grace as we come together as a sisterhood, to COME HOME to the truth of who we are, to be refreshed by the still waters of the Holy Spirit.

Will you join me?

Click here to RSVP


Blessings & Love,




Love Is Not A Tingly Feeling.

Neither is it butterflies and goosebumps. Nor is it rainbows, fairy dust and hearts. It is not the overly perfect notions that we as Christians sometimes tend to portray on social media either.

Check out the typical Protestant wedding vows:

I, (your first name) take thee, (insert the name of your significant other), to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge myself to you.”

For those of you are single, are you really ready for what you are praying for?

For those of you who are married or who have been married in the past were there not many moments marriage where the tingly feelings disappeared and you had to love your spouse and show up and do what was right in spite of your feelings (or lack thereof)?

For better – when the money is right, the kids act right, everything is peaches and cream, the sex is good, all is well on the job, in the church, in the business, you are looking and feeling your best, all is well with the extended family…or

For worse – when the bank account is overdrawn, you are looking for change at the bottom of your purse and laying around the house, the kids have been acting up in school and not turning in homework, co-workers acting crazy, boss acting crazy, no one is purchasing your services in your side business, no one is liking your social media pics, your husband has gone into his cave and refuses to talk, lovemaking is dry and on top of that you feel sick and worn out.

You get the picture.

As I wrap up this final post in the “God Is Love, Let Him Lead / Let God Lead” Series, my heart is to educate, inform and inspire those connected to me so that we are truly rooted, in reality and ready for the demands of the Kingdom marriage and love that we so deeply crave.

That means we must do all that we can to be connected to the source of true love which is God.  God is Spirit and Truth.  And God is Love. Being rooted, grounded, fixed and founded in the love of God for yourself FIRST is crucial and foundational for you to have the capacity to love another human being full of flaws, issues, personality differences, ways, habits and their own unique set of baggage. It requires walking in truth – not fantasy or not being real.

If I can’t receive the love of God for myself and my own set of issues, how can I be fully present and in position to love a man for better or for worse, for richer or poorer in sickness and in health until death?

If you have listened to me teach for any length of time on social media, you know the relationship equation.


The only thing I can control in this equation is ME.

There can be no healthy WE, until I first deal with ME.

Let’s focus on healing and ordering our lives by letting God lead us into love.  Let God Love us.  Let God Lead Us.  God IS Love.  Let Him Lead!

Lastly, if you have not yet registered for the Let Him Lead Webinar – Intimate Conversation with Dr. Rita on her courtship and engagement journey on THIS THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 22 AT 9PM EST…you really can’t afford to miss this in light of this discussion, especially if you claim to want to be married in the future.  Sign up here to register and be sure to click all the way through and confirm everything.

Look forward to seeing you on Thursday!!!


Does it really matter?

6 Ways to Keep Doing What’s Right When Everything Goes Wrong

How do you “keep on keeping on” in the midst of struggle and stress?  How do you keep doing right when everything feels so wrong?

Even when you are walking in your purpose…You will STILL GO THRU something!  There is no short-cut, quick road to success and excellence.  So when troubles, transitions and contradictions arise remember these things:

#1 Keep an Eternal or Long View Perspective

Ask yourself the question: “Will what I am struggling with, brooding and stewing over really matter 200 years from now? A year from now?  Will I remember this? Will anyone else remember this? Is it really that important?  This is especially true when it comes to other people – their opinions, who’s mad at you, who likes you, who said/did what, etc.  If, in the grand scheme of your life and purpose, you determine that it does not really matter in the long view, then why is it dominating your mind in the short-term view? What is another thought that you can chose think about instead of this issue that years from now you may not even remember or if you do it will seem very insignificant?

We are reminded in Colossians 3:2 (AMP) to “Set our minds and keep them set on things above (the higher things), not on things of the earth.  Simply put, this means to elevate your mind to think the way God thinks, to see and function at a higher level.  This requires not allowing yourself to get overly bogged down in your earthly, fluctuating circumstances as if they are permanent and forever.  Eternal things are forever.  Your earthly circumstances are not.

#2 Do Everything for the Glory of God

While you are in this earth realm, you are living in an earthly body which is the temple of God if you are a believer.  God dwells in you.  You are a carrier of presence of God.  You are called and chosen to bring glory to God while you are living until He calls you home. This perspective will enable you to endure and go through the hard stuff when your feelings want to quit.  Why? Because if your motives are all about self, you will quit when life gets too hard.  Impure motives involve doing things for the wrong reasons – to impress others and receive praise, to get a “like” on social media, to be seen, to feel good about yourself based on your smarts, performance, possessions, and other selfish reasons.

“Be delivered from public opinion so that you can produce.”  Felix Anderson

If you do things for the reasons above, instead of for the glory of God, when the results you wanted do not manifest and things go wrong, you will quit, murmur and complain.  Yet, if you know that taking care of your family responsibilities even when it is hard, being good to people when they are not so good, leading, sacrificing and making a difference is for God’s glory (not your own gratification and puffing up), then you will do it knowing that God is watching.

That thought alone is enough to help you do right when it feels wrong.  If you are doing out of a love of God to honor him with you life, then He will provide the enabling strength and the grace to endure.  If you don’t serve for the glory of God, you will serve from your own strength in a spirit of striving because your motives stem from the ego or flesh and not from Him.

And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. – Col 3:17

#3 Recognize & Appreciate the Sovereignty of God

The last time I checked, God is God.  He is not taken by surprise by our circumstances.  We are.  Nothing catches God off guard.  But we are often caught off guard.  God does not fret about what went wrong.  Why should we? In His Sovereignty, he allowed the situation to come about the way that it did.  He allowed it to further His purposes in our life and for His eternal purposes that we know not of.  Our free will choices and the choices of others are still under his Sovereignty.

We must remember what Romans 8:28 says: All things work together for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.  They work together for good, but may not necessary feel good.

And when we fret, fume and fuss, the devil goes and tells it in hell to the rest of the demons about how easy it was to get us out of our peace and make us useless that day.  Why should we give the devil ammunition and reason to laugh at our fretting instead of simply trusting in God’s timing and sovereignty in our lives?

#4 Learn to Lean on God and Love You

Dwell in and spend time with God daily.  You need God’s strength, grace and power so that you become more rooted, grounded fixed and founded in His Love.  It takes effort to keep your mind on Him and His love for you but so very critical to your emotional and mental health.  Without knowing and receiving God’s love on a daily basis you will never really learn to accept and love yourself as a fearfully and wonderfully made man or woman of God.

This is the process of healing and deliverance and it is also the process in which we finally learn to forgive ourselves and accept ourselves for the person we are right now and will become.  This is not a license to remain stuck in sin but rather an acknowledgement that you are not perfect, but are a redeemed, whole and loved child of God, ever growing and being changed from glory to glory as you learn to lean on Christ.

The offenses, experiences, and struggles that cause you to doubt yourself, feel rejected by others must be dealt with and not pushed to the side or swept under the rug or you will attract more of the same thing. We must allow God to heal those emotions and learn to forgive self and others for the past.  How does beating yourself up, feeling ashamed and condemned about your past help?  It does not!  It keeps us stuck.  We must learn how to love and trust again.

#5 Every Experience is a Lesson – Don’t take it so Personal

It happened. Yes it did.  Once we absorb it and think about it, no matter how painful is, at some point in order to move forward and live again, we must learn the lesson and let it go.

Instead, what we tend to do is to take the lesson plus the pain and all of the extra baggage, plus a big dose of shame, condemnation, blame, and a host of other negative emotions and drag it around with us forever.

We take every offense and experience personally and allow it to penetrate our heart and sit there long enough do significant damage. 

My NEW FAVORITE SCRIPTURE: Great peace have they which love thy law and NOTHING shall OFFEND them.

This is what causes us to stay stuck and struggle.  This is what delays blessings, progress and full manifestation of all of the prayers we keep praying.  We just have a hard time letting go of stuff.  Every single situation and relationship problem is an experience.  We do not have to let it linger.  Observe it, your response to it.  Detach emotionally to think clearly, long enough and logically enough to learn the lesson. Ask God to help you, give you wisdom, heal you and guide you in the situation.

Do the best you can and keep it moving.  It is an experience to be learned from but not the focus of your entire life.  It is not something that you must cling to, drag around and nurse in your head and heart forever. Let. It. Go.

#6 Guard Your Heart & Renew Your Mind

In Proverbs we are called to keep our heart with all diligence for out of if flows the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23)  We are also commanded in 2 Cor. 10:5 to cast down imaginations (thoughts) that exalt itself against the knowledge of God.  We are called to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2).

If you fail to guard your heart, cast down thoughts contrary to God’s word, and renew your mind, you will do the opposite of what is listed above in items #1 through #5.

  • Instead of keeping an eternal perspective you will…

Live a low-level life with a temporary, transient world view.  You won’t arise above your circumstance long enough to fulfil your God ordained purpose. 

  • Instead of doing things for the glory of God you will…

Do things for the wrong reasons (people, possessions, positions, and platforms) and become frustrated when you achieve your goals and find out it was all wrong and instead of feeling fulfilled you still have voids.

  • Instead of resting in God’s sovereignty when things happen that you do not understand you will…

Always be fretting and frustrated and the devil knows that if he can keep you in this state, you won’t be very effective as a Christian.

  • And finally, instead of leaning on God and learning to be loved and how to love again, you will….

Lean on your own understanding, never get real and be healed, and live a surface, shallow type of life. You never really fully learned how to walk in and receive the healing, the wholeness and fullness of life that Christ offers.  You did not want to take the time to be still long enough to know God and His Love because healing can be painful at first.

Beloved, let this not be your testimony!  Don’t give up doing right when everything in your circumstances scream and you feel all wrong on your job, in your home, your marriage, with the kids, ministry, business, etc.!!! Be steadfast in your eternal perspective.  Hold your ground for the glory of God.  Remember that He is Sovereign and don’t let the devil gain a foothold laughing while you fret.  Lean on God and learn to love again.  Keep in the mind that it is an experience to learn and not an offense to carry around forever.  And finally, above all else guard your heart for out of it flows your very life.

Until next time, remain blessed and in Him,