The Closure Class Webinar – How To Handle a Break Up Like A Queen & Move On

For the Ladies Only.

Did you wake up this morning with him and that situation on your mind again? (And if you are a guy reading this, the same applies! or you can pass this along to someone you know who needs this)

I’ve been there.  In weird, painful relationship situation that never quite seems to get right.  I came to a place where I finally got tired of my own mess and denial.

I got tired of pretending and praying.  I got tired of waiting and wondering why he won’t change.

And I finally took action.  I ended it.  Yes, there was struggle of about 5 or 6 months but once I cut it, I CUT IT!!!! (and wrote a book about it)

If you are always praying about your relationship but you are still secretly crying and anxious… Acting like all is well in front of friends and family.  Suffering and smiling. Painting the perfect picture on Facebook and Instagram.  Going to church and work and acting happy.  But deep down you know you have been praying for years for him to change and nothing has changed. It hurts so bad.   Feeling unappreciated and unwanted.  Forever trying to get the relationship back to the early days when you felt connected only to be left feeling drained from trying.  Feeling like you are always nagging and complaining, but nothing changes. Praying and seeking God for his healing or to change him so that you can finally have a real, authentic relationship. Your heart has been crying out for years to finally feel loved, cherished and understood. If this sounds like you, then you need to be in this class!!

Click this link – bit.ly/theclosureclass and get access information now.

Live Workshop/Class – THURSDAY, JUNE 22ND 2017 8:00 pm EST/7:00 pm CST/ 5:00 pm PST

In this webinar you will learn:

  • How to end a bad relationship with dignity, especially if you have been praying and waiting for years.
  • What to do when it’s a “complicated” situation.
  • How to navigate the emotions, social media, sms/ texts during and after break-up
  • How to get the closure you need to move on
  • How to Avoid getting caught up back in the relationship again.

Start your journey to healing and peace now! Enter your email and click the subscribe button below to get in the class. Live slots are limited.

Click there to sign up — bit.ly/theclosureclass

THURSDAY, JUNE 22ND 2017 8:00 pm EST/7:00 pm CST/ 5:00 pm PST

I can’t wait to see you there!

Tonika

If You Want To Be Healed, You Must First Get Real – Checking In

I have been remiss to blog lately!  I’ve had a lot going on (and so have you I’m sure) but still it’s no excuse!

We are all (self-included) on the journey to getting real and being healed.  Healing happens in layers.  In the process, remember above all things – regardless of you circumstances you are worthy to be loved, cherished and understood in your romantic relationships.

Anything less, is a choice that you are allowing. So, ask yourself, what is it about this situation that no matter how jacked up it is, that I choose to stay?  What am I denying and refusing to deal with? What is it costing me to stay in this?  What is the cost (other people’s opinions, money, time lost, the children, etc.)  to end it?  Why am I willing to pay the price of keeping my heart diminished for years instead of paying the price to heal and be free?

Remember that.  Next up — Two Things

Running on a Broken Heel – Heart & Sole Weekend – Charlotte, NC October

I am super excited to a part of the Running on a Broken Heel Movement and the amazing Heart & Sole Weekend in Charlotte, North Carolina on October 13-14.  I will be there to share and teach on the topic of “Soul Ties” during the Saturday morning workshops.  Make plans NOW to attend, check out the flyer below and click the link to purchase your tickets.  It promises to be a sold out event as the Running On a Broken Heel events always are!!!

Click here: Https:/ROABHHeartandsole.eventbrite.com

GetRealBeHealed Christian Life Coaching Now Available.

Part of why have I have been missing in action is the fact that I have now an official certified Christian Life Coach and HIScoach™ !! Yes, I am now a Certified Christian Life Coach and have been actively engaged in positioning myself to serve in a higher way.  If you are in need of one-on-one coaching in your relationship or overall life situation, I’m here to help!  I am still offering complimentary (aka – FREE) thirty minute clarity sessions on any issue of your heart that you are struggling with.  If you are interested in scheduling a sacred time to connect and share what’s going on in a discreet and safe place, send an email to tonika@tonikabreeden.com with the SUBJECT LINE as “Talk2Tonika Session”.  These sessions are 30 minutes via phone.

Stay connected and you will be hearing from me again, very soon!

With Love,

T.

Relationship Laws for Ladies Who Love God

1. I am rooted, grounded, fixed and founded in the Love of God, not a position, title, having “Mrs.” in front of my name, not money, my looks, being cute, being smart or being seen.

2. I respect myself enough to lay boundaries in all relationships personally and professionally.

3. I am complete and whole in God; therefore I do not need outside validation or vindication from a man to see how wonderful I am, what a great and lovely lady I am, or what good wife potential I am. I already know that I am all these things. I don’t have to compromise myself or be in a jacked up relationship to prove it.

4. I am a very wise, honest, faithful person of integrity. I am loving and kind. I am wise enough to now realize that not everyone is like me; therefore I exercise sound judgment, wisdom and boundaries in my daily life, especially when it comes to men. I no longer naively assume that just because a man proclaims to be a Christian, a minister, a pastor, etc. that it means he has good intentions or is true. I realize that because a man can speak “Christianese”, knows the Bible, can pray and preach does not mean he is “THE ONE”. He still got to past the basic character tests of honesty and reliability. I know people by their fruit not by what they say.

5. I attract creative, exciting, supportive, positive, godly, faithful, visionary, smart and wonderful people, both males and females in my life. I can now be friends with a man without thinking “IS HE THE ONE?” I can enjoy male friendship without the foolishness of weird feelings and questionings. I can just be my best self and let God lead, guide and order my relationships. I have a full and abundant life.

6. I attract emotionally, mentally and spiritually whole people in my life now. I have no need to have unhealthy, sick malfunctioning men in order to prove anything or to be their Savior. I am not responsible for their burdens, sins, issues, and brokenness and healing. That is between them and Jesus. I will NOT relax my boundaries to accommodate their issues, thus damming up my own healing and blessings. Because I am fixed, helped and healed by Jesus, I no longer have the need to fix, help or heal a man. I am now complete in Christ and know who I am, a Daughter of the King, living in His courts and will not go beneath my place of being seated in heavenly places to roll around in the pig pen to help someone and get my own self dirty and hurt. I no longer need to fix someone else to validate my self-worth and value as a good woman. I know I am good.

7. I live very gracefully, very poised, very well pulled together and am continuously working towards improvement and order. I will no longer tolerate chaotic individuals, with lots of mess and unresolved issues operating that will spill over into my life. Thus I maintain a higher level of peace and order in my life.

8. I attract whole men who I would compliment and who would compliment me. We are icing on each other’s cakes, not two half baked cakes, falling apart attempting to come together, making a bigger mess. I am a Whole Loaf. Therefore I will not scrape around begging, looking and expecting for crumbs from a man, or live off past stale crumbs. I no longer attract crumby men. I attract Whole Loaf Men.

9. I make note of and pay attention to ANY AND ALL, EVERY LAST SIGN OF ANYTHING THAT IS A TRUE RED FLAG in relationships. I can give people the benefit of the doubt, but I now am more sensitive and quickly take heed to warning signs and signals, because I have learned to trust myself. I have learned that if I am praying in the Spirit, staying in the Word of God, trusting Him to lead me that He is indeed truly doing that and I can truly trust that warning or check in my spirit. I only have close relationships with people whose walk equals their talk and whose words and actions match. If I see otherwise, I leave them alone.

10. I stay away from anyone who would attempt to cause me to compromise myself or values in any way, shape form or fashion. I flee from any individual or circumstance that conflicts with:
a. Godly laws, principles, values and morals, including sex before marriage
b. Common Sense and Wisdom
c. Cause immediate harm and damage
d. Cause emotional, mental, spiritual pain, anxiety, torment or turmoil
e. Compromise the call and purpose of God for my life

11. I stay in fellowship and accountable to people who I know truly love and care about me and who will tell me the truth. I walk in reality and not fantasy. I am able to distinguish and discern truth. I immerse myself in the Word of God; I stay in tune with the Holy Spirit who is also known as the Spirit of Truth. I heed wise counsel, realizing that I do not know it all. I heed wise counsel even if it hurts my feelings and makes me mad at first. This means I stay humble.

12. I refuse to allow myself to be self-deceived in the name of Jesus because I am too proud, ashamed or embarrassed to face the truth about any situation. I no longer have to isolate myself in shame or embarrassment. I have nothing to hide anymore. I can live again.

13. I have no need to get in a man’s head, obsessing, analyzing, over thinking, and immersing myself in his world, trying to figure him out. It does not take all that. If it does, something is wrong.

14. I work for myself first. This means that I allow God to work in me and through me to #1, heal and restore me FIRST, then others. My work blesses ME FIRST, then others. This means that I will utilize the gifts and talents I have for God to benefit myself and others in a Healthy and Balanced way. This means that I will not allow myself to be used by someone in the name of fixing/helping/healing/proving/validating and following a fantasy and still left with nothing to benefit me. I am discreet and cautious and wise about giving of myself, time, talents and money to anyone not in my immediate family, but especially to a man without the true commitment.

15. I end relationships immediately when I can clearly see that it is not working. I learn the lesson and LET IT GO.