Receive Forgiveness

Yes. You.  I’m not talking about you forgiving the one or ones who have done you wrong.

I’m talking about you finally forgiving you.  Letting yourself off the hook. Giving yourself grace.  Remembering that you are a human being, prone to struggle, error and sin.

I’m talking about finally fully receiving the redemption and restoration that Christ died to give you.

Question: If you have genuinely turned from the old way of doing, being and thinking (aka repentance) and are actively working with God for restoration, healing and forward momentum in your life then why are you continuing to hold back a little? Why?

Every time we allow the lingering old residue thoughts of guilt and shame over what happened, we slowly corrode away our self-esteem.

Every time we engage in comparison and subtle competition because of lingering insecurities and unprocessed pain, we diminish ourselves.

Every time we allow our minds to ruminate and re-hash over all of the things we suffered because of our decisions, the hurt we may have inadvertently caused others, the opportunities and blessings we forfeited when we made poor choices, we unconsciously create an unhealthy place for our own hearts.

How can our hearts thrive in a situation where we beat ourselves up with the past?  How can my heart as a woman thrive if I am in a place of continual regret?  How can my heart be a safe place for other people (especially if I plan to be married, or if I already am, or if I have a family) if it is not safe for me first?

Since when did subtle, self-inflicted punishment help move us forward in our purpose and destiny?  The last time I checked, self-inflicted silent punishment keeps us stuck and pretending to be okay with where we are when we are really not. We self-sabotage and punish ourselves because of:

  1. Shame. I love this quote by Shannon Evette – “Shame will cause you to live small, date small and be small.” Enough said.
  2. False Guilt. There is a difference between a healthy sense of being convicted when you do something wrong versus walking around feeling guilty for something that you know you have already asked forgiveness for and it is over already. Or in some cases feeling guilty about situations and circumstances beyond your control.  As long as you feel guilty, subconsciously you are going to do things to punish yourself, such as procrastinating, not fully showing up, hiding, making excuses, falling off the wagon, etc.
  3. Fear and Unworthiness. Unworthiness says I am unworthy to receive full forgiveness and give myself permission to live again, therefore I will settle.  As a result of settling, fear sets in and says because I have wasted so much time in foolishness and drama, I must now hurry up and do something because I may not have a chance at love again. Therefore, I am going to rush and settle into a known situation that is not God’s best for me.  I don’t believe I am worthy to receive God’s best, therefore I don’t have the patience to wait, so I will settle for who or what comes up.
  4. Pride. To receive from God what He has so freely given is an act of humility.  There is no working, sweating, proving and performing. It is admitting that you can’t fix yourself. It literally means that we must deeply receive from Him without trying to work up and muster up some type of good behavior to pay for it.  We are too prideful and want to work for God’s approval.  Remember, you were approved when you accepted Christ not based on anything you have ever done.

Allowing yourself to fully receive from God is the first step to overcoming the dead-end dynamic of shame, guilt, fear and unworthiness.  When we don’t fully receive what Christ died to give, we are in essence saying that His sacrifice is not good enough for us.  It is like a slap in the face to the Creator. He so freely gave so that we could be full and free, but we still walk around deliberately choosing to stay bound.  How sad!

I exhort you today, to no longer block the blessing of receiving forgiveness.  Forgive yourself so that you can be free.

Lay aside the pride, the shame, the unworthiness, the settling, the impatience and learn to sit, be settled and receive full forgiveness of EVERYTHING from God and from yourself!!

In Him,



Stay the Course!



Scattered focus. Scattered energy. Scattered effort. Remember what God first whispered into your spirit at the beginning of the year regarding your healing, your relationships and your life? You know, that thing?  It hasn’t changed.

Definition of  scattered: dispersed, disorganized, random direction and distribution, i.e. – All over the place.

Let not the distractions of life, other people’s agendas, good ideas vs. God ideas, and that one person that you got your eye on (or who you suspect has their eyes on you) get you scattered and off course.

Like the old cliché goes – It’s not how you start, but how you finish.  You started the year well.  You made it through February, the month of love and now we sit here on the cusp of spring.  This is a call to remain grounded, guard your heart and keep moving forward regardless of the distractions and counterfeits that are sure to come your way, especially when it comes to romantic relationships.

Remember, your primary focus at this time is to heal your heart, walk in your purpose and be in position for the next and the new that God has for you.  Like attracts like.  So, it stands to reason that if you are scattered, emotional and at the whim of the new fresh season, you may very well indeed attract another person in the throes of the same sentiments.

You have come too far and have been through too much at this point in your life base your relationship choices out of an unmet emotional need, a need to be seen or loneliness when the weather starts to get warm.

Now, more than ever, is the time to be very intentional and strategic as we enter the pending spring season where hormones rise, activity increases, and opportunities abound to get caught up in the next bright, shiny new thing or relationship(s).

As a beloved son or daughter of God, you are deeply loved and cared for and don’t have to be caught up in the fret and fury of Spring Fever.  Here are some quick keys to help you navigate the pending spring season where nature and hormones rise and there is a general proclivity towards being out and about, looking for love and getting caught up in the excitement of a fresh love interest from a hard winter.

Get Grounded.

One of my sayings that God literally burned in my soul when I was deeply enmeshed in a dead-end relationship, walking around with my so-called “fiancé’s” deceased wife’s ring on my finger (long story, buy the book), was the phrase, “I am rooted, grounded, fixed and founded in the love of God.”  I said this to myself and out loud over and over again.  I said this when I realized everytime I looked down at my hand, the hot mess situation I was in and trying to believe God for a turnaround – that he would give me my own ring and we would be married.  I said this when I realized that my foundation was NOT rooted in God’s love but in my own romantic notions and the opinions of other people.  Stay grounded and focused in God’s love for you and who you are in Him.  Your identity and worth is deeply rooted in God — not your relationship status, your money, looks, social media likes/loves/hearts/shares.  You are worthy and you are enough. Right. Now.  Be grounded and stabilized in that.  Let God’s love be your forever foundation.

Gather Your Energy.

Where focus goes, energy flows. – Tony Robbins

And might I add another saying: What you think about, you bring about.  If your focus is scattered and very distracted, your energy will also be very scattered. If your energy is scattered, so too will be your thoughts.

Scattered energy equals a scattered and unorganized life. When we are scattered we dissipate our life force and power.  We are not able to be fully present and in position for God to expand and elevate as we so deeply desire.  When we are scattered, we can’t be trusted with greater levels of responsibility and blessings because it would likely do us more harm than good.

God loves us too much to bless us more than we can bear.

Therefore, we must become acutely aware of the people, places, problems and pursuits that drain away your energy and take our focus of what is important.  What are the time robbers and subtle distractions, (think social media) that slowly corrode away your time, energy and sometimes rob you of joy and peace?  Take a few moments this week and look at where you time and energy are going.  Is the direction or flow of your time and energy in alignment with your values and the truth that you seek to embody?

Deeper still, perhaps the question to ask is: Are the direction of your thoughts, energy and time flowing towards certain individuals mentally, emotionally and physically that you already know is not God’s best for you?

When we allow ourselves to become scattered, we are an open door for counterfeits and other unhealthy relationships. Why? Because without true focus and purpose, we will attract other individuals into our lives who are also distracted and without focus.  Remember, like attracts like.  If you are scattered and distracted, you will attract those type of people into your life.  Distracting, counterfeit relationships are one of the primary methods the enemy of our soul uses to keep us out of God’s will and best for our lives.

At this time and season, you need the full yield of all of your emotional, spiritual, physical and mental energy. You need to be in a position to effectively harness your energy so that the gifts, talents, skills and anointing of God on your life to do great things can be fully maximized.

Do whatever you need to do in order to gather, reserve and retain all of your energetic power during this season.  Your time and energy is your greatest resource and once it is gone – it is gone.  Sure, God can redeem time and replenish your energy, but He has also given us lots of common sense and is more than willing to give us the wisdom we need in order to effectively navigate our lives.

This is important because we are responsible to be wise stewards over everything that concerns us and that includes all of our energies (spiritual, emotional, mental, spiritual, physical) and all of our gifts (talents, treasures, skills). How well are you stewarding what we have already been given? Are you giving it away to people and situations that are not worthy of who you are?

Take an inventory of where you are in these areas and begin to gather yourself for the next leg of your journey.

Guard Your Heart.

Go with me for a moment and imagine that you have been invited to a white party.  There are two big dudes at the entrance of the party guarding the door.  Only those on the guest list are invited.  You are on the guest list and you are allowed entrance to the party.

Note the following:

  1. The party is open.
  2. People can get in, but;
  3. Only those with an invitation.
  4. There are guards in place who screen and keep out those not invited.

You can guard your heart the same way. You don’t have to shut down or close up your heart.  You can let people in.  But you only allow folks in who have been invited and carefully screened as a result of due diligence and prayer.

Having spring fever and wanting to be seen, to feel pretty, and to be wanted by the opposite sex is not a reason to have the doors of your heart and body wide open to any body.  Catching feels prematurely happens when you let someone in too quick without allowing things to unfold.  You are responsible to guard you heart. Catching feelings for a distraction is what happens when the heart doors are unguarded.  We guard the doors of our hearts.  The heart is always open to let love in but in the right way, with the right person in the right time. Until otherwise, it remains kept under guard.

Your emotional energy and the space of your heart cannot be wide open to everyone during this season.  Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the springs of life (Prov. 4:23).   Only the right people who qualify, who have passed the test and have been deemed as a wise choice to be in your life and in your heart should be let in.  Only those who will add to, increase, bless, empower and make you a better person should be invited into the party of your life.

Let not yourself be scattered.  Get Grounded.  Gather Your Energy.  Guard Your Heart.

And most of all – Stay the Course!!!



Does it really matter?

6 Ways to Keep Doing What’s Right When Everything Goes Wrong

How do you “keep on keeping on” in the midst of struggle and stress?  How do you keep doing right when everything feels so wrong?

Even when you are walking in your purpose…You will STILL GO THRU something!  There is no short-cut, quick road to success and excellence.  So when troubles, transitions and contradictions arise remember these things:

#1 Keep an Eternal or Long View Perspective

Ask yourself the question: “Will what I am struggling with, brooding and stewing over really matter 200 years from now? A year from now?  Will I remember this? Will anyone else remember this? Is it really that important?  This is especially true when it comes to other people – their opinions, who’s mad at you, who likes you, who said/did what, etc.  If, in the grand scheme of your life and purpose, you determine that it does not really matter in the long view, then why is it dominating your mind in the short-term view? What is another thought that you can chose think about instead of this issue that years from now you may not even remember or if you do it will seem very insignificant?

We are reminded in Colossians 3:2 (AMP) to “Set our minds and keep them set on things above (the higher things), not on things of the earth.  Simply put, this means to elevate your mind to think the way God thinks, to see and function at a higher level.  This requires not allowing yourself to get overly bogged down in your earthly, fluctuating circumstances as if they are permanent and forever.  Eternal things are forever.  Your earthly circumstances are not.

#2 Do Everything for the Glory of God

While you are in this earth realm, you are living in an earthly body which is the temple of God if you are a believer.  God dwells in you.  You are a carrier of presence of God.  You are called and chosen to bring glory to God while you are living until He calls you home. This perspective will enable you to endure and go through the hard stuff when your feelings want to quit.  Why? Because if your motives are all about self, you will quit when life gets too hard.  Impure motives involve doing things for the wrong reasons – to impress others and receive praise, to get a “like” on social media, to be seen, to feel good about yourself based on your smarts, performance, possessions, and other selfish reasons.

“Be delivered from public opinion so that you can produce.”  Felix Anderson

If you do things for the reasons above, instead of for the glory of God, when the results you wanted do not manifest and things go wrong, you will quit, murmur and complain.  Yet, if you know that taking care of your family responsibilities even when it is hard, being good to people when they are not so good, leading, sacrificing and making a difference is for God’s glory (not your own gratification and puffing up), then you will do it knowing that God is watching.

That thought alone is enough to help you do right when it feels wrong.  If you are doing out of a love of God to honor him with you life, then He will provide the enabling strength and the grace to endure.  If you don’t serve for the glory of God, you will serve from your own strength in a spirit of striving because your motives stem from the ego or flesh and not from Him.

And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. – Col 3:17

#3 Recognize & Appreciate the Sovereignty of God

The last time I checked, God is God.  He is not taken by surprise by our circumstances.  We are.  Nothing catches God off guard.  But we are often caught off guard.  God does not fret about what went wrong.  Why should we? In His Sovereignty, he allowed the situation to come about the way that it did.  He allowed it to further His purposes in our life and for His eternal purposes that we know not of.  Our free will choices and the choices of others are still under his Sovereignty.

We must remember what Romans 8:28 says: All things work together for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.  They work together for good, but may not necessary feel good.

And when we fret, fume and fuss, the devil goes and tells it in hell to the rest of the demons about how easy it was to get us out of our peace and make us useless that day.  Why should we give the devil ammunition and reason to laugh at our fretting instead of simply trusting in God’s timing and sovereignty in our lives?

#4 Learn to Lean on God and Love You

Dwell in and spend time with God daily.  You need God’s strength, grace and power so that you become more rooted, grounded fixed and founded in His Love.  It takes effort to keep your mind on Him and His love for you but so very critical to your emotional and mental health.  Without knowing and receiving God’s love on a daily basis you will never really learn to accept and love yourself as a fearfully and wonderfully made man or woman of God.

This is the process of healing and deliverance and it is also the process in which we finally learn to forgive ourselves and accept ourselves for the person we are right now and will become.  This is not a license to remain stuck in sin but rather an acknowledgement that you are not perfect, but are a redeemed, whole and loved child of God, ever growing and being changed from glory to glory as you learn to lean on Christ.

The offenses, experiences, and struggles that cause you to doubt yourself, feel rejected by others must be dealt with and not pushed to the side or swept under the rug or you will attract more of the same thing. We must allow God to heal those emotions and learn to forgive self and others for the past.  How does beating yourself up, feeling ashamed and condemned about your past help?  It does not!  It keeps us stuck.  We must learn how to love and trust again.

#5 Every Experience is a Lesson – Don’t take it so Personal

It happened. Yes it did.  Once we absorb it and think about it, no matter how painful is, at some point in order to move forward and live again, we must learn the lesson and let it go.

Instead, what we tend to do is to take the lesson plus the pain and all of the extra baggage, plus a big dose of shame, condemnation, blame, and a host of other negative emotions and drag it around with us forever.

We take every offense and experience personally and allow it to penetrate our heart and sit there long enough do significant damage. 

My NEW FAVORITE SCRIPTURE: Great peace have they which love thy law and NOTHING shall OFFEND them.

This is what causes us to stay stuck and struggle.  This is what delays blessings, progress and full manifestation of all of the prayers we keep praying.  We just have a hard time letting go of stuff.  Every single situation and relationship problem is an experience.  We do not have to let it linger.  Observe it, your response to it.  Detach emotionally to think clearly, long enough and logically enough to learn the lesson. Ask God to help you, give you wisdom, heal you and guide you in the situation.

Do the best you can and keep it moving.  It is an experience to be learned from but not the focus of your entire life.  It is not something that you must cling to, drag around and nurse in your head and heart forever. Let. It. Go.

#6 Guard Your Heart & Renew Your Mind

In Proverbs we are called to keep our heart with all diligence for out of if flows the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23)  We are also commanded in 2 Cor. 10:5 to cast down imaginations (thoughts) that exalt itself against the knowledge of God.  We are called to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2).

If you fail to guard your heart, cast down thoughts contrary to God’s word, and renew your mind, you will do the opposite of what is listed above in items #1 through #5.

  • Instead of keeping an eternal perspective you will…

Live a low-level life with a temporary, transient world view.  You won’t arise above your circumstance long enough to fulfil your God ordained purpose. 

  • Instead of doing things for the glory of God you will…

Do things for the wrong reasons (people, possessions, positions, and platforms) and become frustrated when you achieve your goals and find out it was all wrong and instead of feeling fulfilled you still have voids.

  • Instead of resting in God’s sovereignty when things happen that you do not understand you will…

Always be fretting and frustrated and the devil knows that if he can keep you in this state, you won’t be very effective as a Christian.

  • And finally, instead of leaning on God and learning to be loved and how to love again, you will….

Lean on your own understanding, never get real and be healed, and live a surface, shallow type of life. You never really fully learned how to walk in and receive the healing, the wholeness and fullness of life that Christ offers.  You did not want to take the time to be still long enough to know God and His Love because healing can be painful at first.

Beloved, let this not be your testimony!  Don’t give up doing right when everything in your circumstances scream and you feel all wrong on your job, in your home, your marriage, with the kids, ministry, business, etc.!!! Be steadfast in your eternal perspective.  Hold your ground for the glory of God.  Remember that He is Sovereign and don’t let the devil gain a foothold laughing while you fret.  Lean on God and learn to love again.  Keep in the mind that it is an experience to learn and not an offense to carry around forever.  And finally, above all else guard your heart for out of it flows your very life.

Until next time, remain blessed and in Him,