What You Resist Persists – How To Let Go in “That” Situation

Hello Wonderful People!!…I know, I know… it’s been a while since I’ve posted… but felt the need to share this one nugget that has been really resonating with me here lately.

What you resist persists….

You know that one, particular situation in your life right now —

  • The “issue” in your current relationship…
  • What happened recently with your child(ren) or on the job…
  • Still struggling trying to find your way – your purpose
  • Your ministry or business struggles
  • The current events of tragedy, trauma and suffering that you may be going thru right now…
  • The loneliness of being without a partner when you have been used to the married life…
  • Single and still waiting for the Right One to appear…
  • Just ending a relationship, still thinking of him/her and secretly keeping an eye on his/her Instagram and Facebook pages…
  • Feeling guilty for reconnecting back with him/her and getting intimate  again just to be left hanging and not returning your calls, texts, acting weird, pulling away, etc.

And the list goes on…

 

No matter where you are right now, as long as you keep fixating on the situation – attempting to figure it out, force it, manipulate or control it, it will remain the same.  If you have your heart set on a certain, particular outcome on that situation and it appears that it is going the opposite direction, as long as you are emotionally and mentally attached to having it manifest in your way, the situation will persist.

What you resist, persists. When we let go, we allow God to flow.  Whenever we attach to a certain outcome and attempt to force our desires in a situation we do the following:

  • Invite a Spirit of Fear & Desperation
  • Invite the Spirit of Impatience & Haste
  • Repel Faith & Grace
  • Get into works of the flesh, pride & ego
  • Attempt to force an outcome according to preconceived notion/fantasy/little movie in our mind.
  • Create a bigger problem & bigger delay
  • Breeds rigidity to a certain way and blocks other creative solutions
  • Breeds insecurity.

Remember, every time fear and panic step in, faith and wisdom step out! This is a huge indicator and a red flag that you have gone too far in your thinking and emotions. When we fall back, chill and trust this creates the space for grace and for God to flow into the situation. When we get into force, figuring, and fixating we dam up the path with our own working and negativity.

When we trust God we are saying, “God, either way this situation goes I know that it is working together for my good according to Romans 8:28.”  Stand on that and believe it TODAY. I encourage you to FALL BACK (do not text him, do not be all worked up, do not run it your mind 85 times), CHILL & TRUST!

Prayer For You

(especially if you are in a tough situation — relationship or otherwise):

Lord, I release my rigidity.  Letting go allows you to flow in my situation.  I understand that by being resistant and fixating on (that person, situation or issue), I will keep the situation with me.   Today I intentionally chose to let go, chill & trust the process. Amen.

TALK2TONIKA CLARITY SESSIONS

Are You….

  • Seeking clarity in your relationship situation?
  • In pain, chaos & confusion?
  • Ready to end it but don’t know how?
  • Feeling in limbo, stuck and unclear in your life overall?

For a limited time, I’m opening up my calendar for 25 minute complimentary clarity coaching sessions for those who are very serious about moving forward in life and in their relationships.  If you are interested in having a complimentary session with me, click HERE to schedule your Talk2Tonika session today!

UPCOMING EVENTS

 

For those of you in the local Raleigh/Durham North Carolina USA area, join me on Sept 16th for the Faith Walkers Live Conference where I will be a facilitator.  The time has 6:30 am for those who want to actually exercise and go on a Faith Walk Duke University before the conference.  However, it is not mandatory, so don’t let that scare you!   Click here to register

Also, don’t forget – I will be in Charlotte, NC as a facilitator for the Heart & Sole Conference / Running on a Broken Heel on October 13-14 and I’d love to see you there. Click here to register!

STAY CONNECTED

 

Download the Periscope app on Google Play or Apple and follow me on Periscope @GetRealBeHealed to catch my live broadcast videos.  I share tons of information on emotional healing and relationships!!!

In Him

 

Tonika

 

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Issues of the Heart Pt. 2: Heart Expansion, Elevation & Establishment

(The 3 stages of Purpose & Love)

In my last blog post, we talked about why our hearts needed to expanded and enlarged for God’s love to flow through, for His purposes and plans for our lives to manifest and for us to be fruitful while we are on this earth.  Without an expanded heart, we will not have the depth or capacity to maintain and sustain Kingdom love (relationships/marriage) and walk in our purpose the way God originally intended.  Go check out it here.

Today, let’s talk about the next stages of heart development — Elevation.

Every layer of healing brings a new level of elevation. When you learn the lesson, you elevate.

 

To elevate or elevation: raise or lift (something) up to a higher position; to raise to a more important or impressive level; promote; upgrade; advance; enhance; to increase the level or amount of.

As we learned in the previous post, the process of heart expansion is literally the process of healing, purging and delivering the heart. Once the heart is walking in greater degrees of healing and wholeness, the next stage is elevation.  With every breakthrough, with every fresh freedom that comes from the removal of a bondage, there is a lightness and an elevation within the heart.

Hearts are meant to be light and free from bondage, sin, deception, darkness, bitterness, grief and sorrow.  We are created to live as beings full of love and light. Anytime there is damage, unprocessed pain, bondage and darkness within the heart, it is burdened.  When deep healing and purging occurs, there is more space for love.  There is more space for grace.  There is more space for the power of God to flow through. The burden is removed and there is lightness. Just like a hot air balloon tethered to the ground with weights, so does sin and pain burden down the heart.  When the weight is purged from the heart, it expands just like the balloon rises to the sky when the weight is removed.

Taking this a step further, when we learn the lessons that the sin, pain, brokenness, struggle or issue taught us and are able to walk with away from it with wisdom, we have now moved into the next stage of elevation.

For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. – Prov. 2:10

 

Lessons learned equate to wisdom won.  Wisdom won equates to PURPOSE.  Wisdom gleaned through the process of expanding and elevating the heart is a special wisdom that God intends to use for His greater purpose and to work out for good for those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

When we have been healed and set free from the inside out, we must acknowledge that we have been given a great gift.  To whom much is given, much is required (Luke 12:48).  We cannot receive the gift of heart expansion along with the related blessings and then fail to reciprocate or give back.

Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water. – John 7:38

 

The way we give back is by elevating into our purpose – our calling.  When we have believed, received, and learned the lessons our soul needed, then comes the rivers of living waters that can help other people.  Rivers of living water can only flow from an expanded and elevated heart. We elevate our hearts when we give up the false pride of saying “I can’t do it”, and humbly walk out the gifts, talents, dreams and calling that we have been assigned based on the lessons learned and our gifts.

To be truly walking in a degree of elevation, requires that we answer the call of purpose.  When we begin to move out in the gifts, callings, talents and dreams that God has placed into us, we have now embarked on our life’s calling – the reason why we were put on this earth in the first place.  Oftentimes, the things we have suffered from and survived are the very things that hold the key to living a life of profound significance and meaning.

Many are called, but few are chosen (Matt 22:14).

The difference between the called and the chosen is that the chosen Chose to Answer. – Marshawn Evans Daniels

 

The choice to answer the call to purpose is the foundation of heart elevation.  Your heart absolutely must come up higher if you expect to serve Him in any capacity.  Not in a proud, haughty way, but in the ways and purposes of God. Your heart must come up higher in thoughts, intents and motives.  Our hearts must operate from the motivation and intention of God’s will as it is expressed in surrendered life.  We don’t like the word surrender, but it is a soul level surrender and humility to say yes to purpose and yes to the call.  It is pride and arrogance to run and hide.

I’ve heard it said that we want the crown without the cross.  We want the outward accolades, validation, fame, success, money that comes from outward elevation, but we don’t want the responsibility and the weight to show up that elevation calls for.  Elevation is a matter of the heart.  Before there is an outward elevation, there is always an inner elevation first.  The elevation of thoughts to God’s thoughts and ways must occur (for His thoughts and ways are higher (Isaiah 55:8).  The elevation of our speech, our prayers, and how we show up and conduct ourselves has to be in place.  Once these things start to occur,  the outward manifestation of an inner elevation will soon manifest.

When God sees that we can be trusted with the call, without being in a state of pride, then He is The One who orchestrates the outward elevation also known as promotion.

For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another. – Psalm 75: 6-7.

 

Outward promotion without inner elevation always results in disaster.  When a heart is still tiny and small due to unhealed wounds and unprocessed pain, if premature outward elevation occurs, the end result is usually destruction and delay.  The heart expansion and heart elevation must happen first on the inside so that we are rooted, grounded fixed and founded in the love of God.  This keeps us from being prone to seeking validation and approval from other people.  Seeking external validation and approval is always a sign of heart insecurity which must be healed.

I encourage you today to not sit on your healing process.  When you have allowed God to expand your heart by going thru the healing process, don’t simply stop there and refuse to move forward in your purpose.  Take the next step and begin to elevate into purpose. Elevate to the high calling of God that you were born for.  Let not the pain of the past or other people’s opinions keep you stuck.  As Felix Anderson states, “You had a purpose before anyone had an opinion.”

Take the high road and do not give up on the talents, gifts, dreams and lessons learned that have been refined and expanded in the fire of life.  Answer the call and elevate! Keep pressing towards the mark of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus! Philippians 3:14

 

Until next time,

 

TB

 

7 Signs You Need to Get Out of That Relationship

Are you tired of the anxious feeling in pit of stomach regarding your relationship and ready to have sustainable peace this year? Need further confirmation?  How much longer do you intend to suffer? Check out this checklist of just a few of the signs you need to cut it from the book, Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback Girl by Natalie Lue:

From Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback Girl by Natalie Lue

  1. The Relationship is conducted on their terms. If you attempt things your way, you are met with objections, stonewalling, going silent, disappearing acts, and open hostility.
  2. There is an absence of love, care, trust and respect.
  3. It feels like you have an addiction or compulsion towards this person and keep going back even though you consistently keep getting disappointed.
  4. They have betrayed you and broken your trust.
  5. If you have forgotten who you are, your values, boundaries, your needs, hobbies, purpose, family, friends and relationship with God.
  6. You have broken up several times for the same reasons ,but you keep going back. They promised things would change but it never does.
  7. You are the side chick because they are otherwise attached/married or have a girlfriend, OR; you used to be the girlfriend at some point, but now you are the side chick.

If any of this sounds familiar, you should consider signing up for The Closure Class, free webinar to receive tools and strategies on how to get out and stay out.  Thursday, June 22nd 8PM EST.

CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP —> The Closure Class

#CutTheTies #SoulTies #BreakUp #GetOut #GetRealBeHealed #Closure #LettingGo #Healing #MoveOn