Give yourself permission to be still. End the rush and the hustle. God’s favor can take you further than your hustle ever will.
It’s a trust thing. Let Him direct and order your steps in this season as you heal your life. Do you really and sincerely believe that all things are working together for your good? I mean really. Let’s look at this:
- The failed relationship
- The cheating spouse or significant other
- The significant other or spouse who does not treat you right
- The friend who acts funny or suddenly gets cold towards you
- The people at work
- Your dysfunctional, strange or weird family members
- Your finances, job, ministry or school situation
- Your health
- Your mistakes you made and the consequences
- Your children and their issues (or lack of children)
- Your calling or purpose in life
- And everything else in your life that is hard to understand and painful.
All things. We have to make an intentional choice to believe that these things are the very stepping stones and instruments of God for His purposes to refine our character and point us to His heart and our purpose in Him.
If I didn’t know what it felt like to come home after church one day only to find that my husband had emptied out his side of the closet and his clothes out of the drawers to move in with his girlfriend while I sat with a six month old infant, a 3 year old and his stepson, questioning my worth as a wife, woman and a mother, I wouldn’t have any power to speak to other women in the same situation.
If it were not for my failed marriage above and the subsequent dead-end relationship (the one in which I walked around with my fiancé’s deceased wife’s wedding ring on my finger for almost 7 years as my engagement ring), you would not be reading this blog post today.
If I didn’t take the time to write and reflect in my tattered and tear stained journals, back in those days when I was waiting on my “fiancé” to call or text me, while looking at that ring on my hand wondering when we were going to finally get it together, there would not have been a book written about how to get out of a dead end relationship.
If I didn’t learn the lessons of the parking lot Christmas Eve gift exchanges between my “fiancé” and I because he never, ever wanted to spend Christmas with me and my family but always had a thousand excuses (but he said he loved me), I would not have anything to teach other women about how to recognize what real love looked like.
If I didn’t know what it felt like to struggle and battle immensely in my heart and mind to stop thinking, wondering, praying about, fantasizing, daydreaming, texting, calling, stalking a man in order to finally cut that soul tie, get real be healed and move on in my life, I would not be in a position to help other women move on from being entangled emotionally and sexually with a man who is not safe for their heart.
Never, ever in a million years could I have imagined that I would have written a book, over a hundred blog posts and emails, spoken into the lives of hundreds and hundreds of women based off my struggles, inadequacies, mistakes and humiliation as a woman. Never.
That is why I tell you dear reader, to let God be God. Let Him direct and order your steps in this season as you heal your life. He tells us in Psalm 46:10 to be still and to know that He is God. I say be still and let Him heal. Don’t move yet. Give yourself permission to be still and heal. The longer you stay still, the better you heal. The longer you heal, the more the healing can seal and remain strong.
Sit with Him and settle your soul about these matters for once and for all.
We live in a “hurry up and heal” social media society where we want to heal up quick so that we can post pictures on Facebook and Instagram to show the world that we are “okay” and “looking good.”
Be still and heal. Do not rush or hurry to date, get out there, be seen, or start something that you have no personal capacity or space in your heart for right now. This goes for more than just a romantic relationship. This goes for anything that could distract you from what is most important.
Your voice and your testimony are being cultivated right now. The deeper your healing, the deeper and the stronger your testimony will be and the more you will be able to help others. Your purpose is being developed right here in the darkness between you and God. My testimony and these emails that you receive were not birthed in 2018. The seeds of what you see now were birthed back around 2008 or 2009 when I was sitting, isolated, waiting for him to come and see me, love me and marry me. It was birthed when I was crying, praying and writing while realizing that I had a spiritual gift but was too ashamed about my situation to let anyone know.
That is place where ministry is birthed. Not in the limelight, but in the cave.
There is someone out there who is assigned to the story and the victory that you currently carry. The world needs what you carry. Don’t resist or rush the process.
Let God be God!