The Three Kinds of Couples + LoveRESET Masterclass

 

Greetings Dear Subscriber!

I was thinking the other day.

How often we log into Instagram and Facebook and see the beautiful couple pics – holding hands, at a nice restaurant, with the kids, after church, someplace outside with a gorgeous background…

You know which ones I am talking about – the perfect looking married or dating couple with the perfect pics. Some have lots of emoji’s & mushy language.  Sometimes there are others with lots of TMI and oversharing!

But follow them home.  Things may not be as rosy in the real life as it appears to be in their offline life. Honestly, the ones who share too much, are more of a red flag because it appears that they are relationally insecure.  Why? Those who overshare need the outside validity that they are okay and that their relationship is okay.

There are three types of Couples:

The Cute Couple: The #Instacouple with perfectly curated, captured and posed “relfies” (relationship selfies). The validity of their relationship ebbs and falls based on number of likes & comments on social media. They are too busy adjusting the filter and coming up with the right #hashtag instead of working on their relationship. Instead of being in the moment of these carefully curated and crafted pictures, they are too busy posing and posting to be truly PRESENT in the relationship.  When the pics are done, they may not even be really speaking to or engaging with each other at all.  They are image and Instagram conscious, not internally conscious.

The Couple of Convenience: These are the couples who are together because of shared history — NOT shared vision, purpose, goals and dreams.  They may have lost or never had a truly deep emotional and spiritual connection.  They are together for materials, religious, and financial reasons.  The other person makes their life easier and they are “good enough”.  They are settling. They stay with the other person because of a perceived lack if they were not there – not because the other person actually ADDS to their life.

The Called Couple: These are the couples who are mutually aligned in purpose and who are each other’s equal on multiple dimensions (not JUST spiritually equally yoked).  Individually, each one comes to the relationship table already full (not thirsty), living fruitful lives and are emotionally ready for a real relationship. These are the ones who see their relationship as more than just about them, but for a higher purpose.  These are the ones committed to personal growth individually as well as a couple.

Which couple are you? If you are in a CALLED relationship, many blessings and let me know!  What are you doing to maintain at that high level?  If you are not in a relationship, where have found yourself in previous relationships and what are you doing NOW to be ready for the level of maturity that being in a CALLED relationship requires?

To learn more about these couples — Watch the video I created on this very topic (click here for the link) – https://www.periscope.tv/GetRealBeHealed/1OyKAQrqVYDKb

If you are not in a relationship and desire to be ready for a CALLED kind of Love, come be a part of a series of FREE Live Closed Mentorship sessions with me at bit.ly/LoveRESET.  I’m transitioning to a higher level of conversation about love for those who are ready to join me on this journey.  If you have cut the ties, done the work and are actively taking steps to walk in purpose, come check it out.  It’s totally free. Walk with me!

Love Tonika

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Try It Again.

You know, that little tug at your heart is still there. It hasn’t gone anywhere.  In spite of all that you have gone through, you still feel that gentle nudge to try it again.

Your “it” may be that business idea. Or that non-profit.  Writing that book.  Starting that blog. Joining a network marketing type of business.  Going back to school.  Starting that ministry.  Signing up to serve in a ministry or community service.

Or your “it” could be opening your heart to love again.

Whatever your “it” is, it is not too late and you can try again!  We tend to overthink and cause suffering for ourselves.

Also, we are eternally preoccupied with what “THEY” will think.  More often than not, we want it to be easy and really don’t want to actually do the WORK and put forth the effort and time it will take, either. Especially if we have tried before and we feel like we failed.

So we make excuses and stifle that little tug in our hearts.

We languish and suffer when we see other people taking the leap and doing the same thing we know we are to be doing.  We don’t understand why watching them makes us feel depressed. It is not “THEM”, it’s us.   When we are not really doing what we are supposed to be doing and when we see someone else doing the same thing, it stirs up insecurities.

So instead of looking and watching others, I encourage you to try it again.  This time with more wisdom and this time with greater faith.

Remember, it’s not over and it’s not too late!

Whatever mistake, shame, embarrassment from the past that you are struggling with, I encourage you to:

1) Receive God’s grace to fill in the gaps and insufficiencies;

2) Receive forgiveness of your mistakes;

3) Forgive yourself and stop ruminating about it;

4) Believe God for restoration and redemption of the years that have been lost (Joel 2:25) and lastly;

5) Try It Again!

What is it God is whispering for you do try again?

P.S. —- a little gift for you here – http://www.tonikabreeden.com/download/get-out-of-that-dead-end-relationship-now-ch-1-3/ – the first three chapters of my book, Get out of that Dead-End Relationship NOW! After having ended a bad relationship, I too, had to pick up the pieces and live again. So can you!

Stop the Lies. Speak Your Truth

It’s the truth that sets us free. John 8:32.  I say it’s the truth we KNOW and DO that sets us free.  I’m calling all Queens who engaged and activated in their various callings and assignments. I’m calling the ones who know what they are called to do but they are still not doing in the way that they dreamed of and the way God told them because they still are worried about what “they” think and are still trying to figure out “How” to do it….I’m also calling out those may be still struggling to regain sense of identity and your own voice after being in a bad relationship for years….

Stop the lies and pretending. It’s time to rise and remember who you really are. There are many, many things coming down the pipeline as we are getting close to the final days of enrollment for the Esther Queendom Academy founded by my mentor Shannon Evette.

The reason why I’m doing this mass push is just for that One Queen.  You may be her.  You could be that one Game Changing Woman in this world that is hiding out in being too busy, wounded and stuck in overthought to invest in yourself.

Every time you hold back and hide out, you are withholding the answer to someone’s prayer.

You are the answer.

Rise Up.

Upcoming Events!

Sisterhood Soiree With Shannon Evette: Matters of the Heart / Healing the Heart of a Queen

Essential Oils of the Bible Class with Essential Oils Practitioner Angie Ceroli and Transformative Teaching by Shannon

Sunday 4/22/18 at 3:00 pm  Durham, NC

For those in the Raleigh Durham area of North Carolina, I am hosting a live event – an impromptu Sisterhood Soiree with Shannon Evette teaching live via Zoom on Matters of Heart: Healing the Heat of a Queen on This coming Sunday, 4/22/18 at 3PM EST.  I have an Essential Oils Teacher who will be presenting to us on the Biblical Oils of the Bible that Queen Esther used in her healing and beautification process as well as light refreshments and then a transformative teaching on heart issues by Shannon Evette all the way from California!!! This is absolute free and the first 15 ladies to register will receive a free beauty bag with essential oils from Shannon.  Click here to sign up today Location to be provided when you register!

Periscope Talks: The Making of a Queen: Protocols of the Palace.

Join me on Periscope this Queendom Journey discussion this week starting on Monday on @periscope for a series of transformative talks on the The Making of a Queen: The Protocols of the Palace.  Follow me on periscope for notifications when I go live!!  I will dive more into the Process, the Promises, the Positioning and the Posture of a Queen.  Download Periscope to your phone and follow me @getrealbehealed to catch me live.

Love & Money: Why Queens Need Both Webinar, Thursday 4/19/18

As women, we are MAGNETIC, we have the power to attract the right relationships, the right opportunities and the right resources. So, what happens when our BRILLIANCE is dulled by fear, a mindset of LACK or unworthiness? Join the Sacred Sisterhood’s “LOVE & MONEY: WHY QUEENS NEED BOTH” Master Class featuring special guest, 7-figure money mindset coach, Ashley Ann. Click here to register.  Ashley Ann keeps things very raw and real.  For mature women only.

Esther Queendom Academy closes 4/24/18!

I am so stinking excited to be in this academy.  I was one of the first year students last year and it was AMAZING.  So much rich, full teaching on ALL aspects of womanhood,  business, purpose, beautification, drawing close to God,  operating as a Queen and ruling in your personal domain, romantic relationships and dealing with a real King – a real Man of God as a spouse.  It is so much and I have never seen anything like it yet…. And if this sounds like something you need — click here.  I’d love to have you join me on the journey.

So many things to elevate, inform, heal and transform your life.  Just for you!

I hope to hear/see you soon.

 

Love,

 

Tonika

 

Many special things coming up for this week.  Stay Tuned! #Queens #GetRealBeHealed #Sisterhood