She slipped and dipped again….Judge not, that ye be not judged. Matt 7:1. The dead-end relationship ended and it is over, but somehow she got caught up and connected with the Ex again. Now the guilt and feelings of unworthiness and condemnation threaten to drown out the voice of God in her mind. If you find yourself in this predicament, know this: God still loves you! There is forgiveness and there is hope. Check out my video on periscope on this at http://www.periscope.tv/getrealbehealed. Download Periscope on your phone to catch me when I go live again!
Once you start to slip, enemy whispers, “well you’ve gone this far, may as well take it all the way”. Then you do so and then the condemnation, guilt and shame come and drown out the voice of God. Once you are in this space you may feel like you have lost ground in your walk with God and are back to square one, so why bother to try? Slipping and dipping feels worse when after every thing is said and done, the relationship doesn’t change, the Ex didn’t really change and the status is still the same. At the end of the day, you know that this person is not God’s best but got caught up again.
Why do we get so easily entangled again?
- They reach out when you feeling vulnerable and needy for attention
- Mistaking attention for love. There is a big difference between someone giving you attention and someone who really loves you.
- Thinking we can handle dealing with them as “friends” and realize too late that we cannot.
- They bring back the “good ole times” and memories/nostalgia/sentimentality
- Simple lust and chemistry – familiarity and comfort
- Trying to be “nice” and still be friends when one or both is still trying to see if there is a chance for reconciliation — still secretly holding a torch for them.
- The Soul tie is not truly severed. This is the biggest and most profound reason why it is so easy to slip and dip.
How to stop slipping and dipping:
- Cut the soul tie, verbally and spiritually out of your mouth. Be very certain and sure that you really want to cut it. Be very certain and ready to that you are now ready to cut the spiritual, emotional and mental connection, the head life, the sex tie, the soul tie with this person.
- Soul tie steps —repent, renounce every vow you made with this person consciously and subconsciously (I’ll never leave you, I’ll always love you, you’ll always be in my heart/soul forever, No man will ever love me like you). All of those inner vows must be renounced. Reclaim all emotions, mental, spirit energy and parts of your soul and body temple given over to him or her, rededicate self to God and receive restoration. This must be done out loud. Not in your head.
- Write out an unsent letter to them, listing out how they made you feel, thank them for good, acknowledge the lessons learned from the bad, forgive and release. Burn or destroy it.
- As soon as feasibly possible — get rid of gifts, items, sexual things, lingerie, trinkets and tokens like teddy bears, t-shirts, old flowers, pictures. These items carry energy and weight. They are a source of connection. Don’t hang on to the stuff.
- Cut all contact off. No DMs, snap, skype, facetime, texting, message in a bottle, messages by friends, social media stalking, etc.
Why getting caught up with Ex is not a good look.
- They are ex for a reason. The reason why you broke up didn’t just disappear.
- Getting entangled with an ex always stirs up old thoughts and old feelings. Remember, you can’t take old thoughts/old ideas into new seasons and new relationships.
- As long as you are messing around with an Ex, you are tying up space for a new person in your life or you are not fully present in your current new relationship.
- Keeping an ex on back burner as an option will always keep perpetual unfinished emotional business in your life which is basically clutter that keeps you stuck.
- Learn lesson of the old relationship and don’t go backwards, it was a lesson, don’t keep repeating it over and over.
- Texting and talking to your old ex is disrespectful to your relationship partner. How would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot? Would you listen to their reasons?
Let it Go. For support in your journey, go to tonikabreeden.com/shop for resources on relationships and emotional healing.