Stop the Lies. Speak Your Truth

It’s the truth that sets us free. John 8:32.  I say it’s the truth we KNOW and DO that sets us free.  I’m calling all Queens who engaged and activated in their various callings and assignments. I’m calling the ones who know what they are called to do but they are still not doing in the way that they dreamed of and the way God told them because they still are worried about what “they” think and are still trying to figure out “How” to do it….I’m also calling out those may be still struggling to regain sense of identity and your own voice after being in a bad relationship for years….

Stop the lies and pretending. It’s time to rise and remember who you really are. There are many, many things coming down the pipeline as we are getting close to the final days of enrollment for the Esther Queendom Academy founded by my mentor Shannon Evette.

The reason why I’m doing this mass push is just for that One Queen.  You may be her.  You could be that one Game Changing Woman in this world that is hiding out in being too busy, wounded and stuck in overthought to invest in yourself.

Every time you hold back and hide out, you are withholding the answer to someone’s prayer.

You are the answer.

Rise Up.

Upcoming Events!

Sisterhood Soiree With Shannon Evette: Matters of the Heart / Healing the Heart of a Queen

Essential Oils of the Bible Class with Essential Oils Practitioner Angie Ceroli and Transformative Teaching by Shannon

Sunday 4/22/18 at 3:00 pm  Durham, NC

For those in the Raleigh Durham area of North Carolina, I am hosting a live event – an impromptu Sisterhood Soiree with Shannon Evette teaching live via Zoom on Matters of Heart: Healing the Heat of a Queen on This coming Sunday, 4/22/18 at 3PM EST.  I have an Essential Oils Teacher who will be presenting to us on the Biblical Oils of the Bible that Queen Esther used in her healing and beautification process as well as light refreshments and then a transformative teaching on heart issues by Shannon Evette all the way from California!!! This is absolute free and the first 15 ladies to register will receive a free beauty bag with essential oils from Shannon.  Click here to sign up today Location to be provided when you register!

Periscope Talks: The Making of a Queen: Protocols of the Palace.

Join me on Periscope this Queendom Journey discussion this week starting on Monday on @periscope for a series of transformative talks on the The Making of a Queen: The Protocols of the Palace.  Follow me on periscope for notifications when I go live!!  I will dive more into the Process, the Promises, the Positioning and the Posture of a Queen.  Download Periscope to your phone and follow me @getrealbehealed to catch me live.

Love & Money: Why Queens Need Both Webinar, Thursday 4/19/18

As women, we are MAGNETIC, we have the power to attract the right relationships, the right opportunities and the right resources. So, what happens when our BRILLIANCE is dulled by fear, a mindset of LACK or unworthiness? Join the Sacred Sisterhood’s “LOVE & MONEY: WHY QUEENS NEED BOTH” Master Class featuring special guest, 7-figure money mindset coach, Ashley Ann. Click here to register.  Ashley Ann keeps things very raw and real.  For mature women only.

Esther Queendom Academy closes 4/24/18!

I am so stinking excited to be in this academy.  I was one of the first year students last year and it was AMAZING.  So much rich, full teaching on ALL aspects of womanhood,  business, purpose, beautification, drawing close to God,  operating as a Queen and ruling in your personal domain, romantic relationships and dealing with a real King – a real Man of God as a spouse.  It is so much and I have never seen anything like it yet…. And if this sounds like something you need — click here.  I’d love to have you join me on the journey.

So many things to elevate, inform, heal and transform your life.  Just for you!

I hope to hear/see you soon.

 

Love,

 

Tonika

 

Many special things coming up for this week.  Stay Tuned! #Queens #GetRealBeHealed #Sisterhood

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Stop Hustling, Start Healing

Are You Driven or are you CALLED?

Many of us feel so inclined to PUSH, to drive, to PROVE ourselves, to control the outcome, to make things happen!

We are living disconnected from our Source, under the diminishing pressures of a masculine system of DOING rather than a Divine feminine manifestation of BEING. But do we really have a CHOICE? If we stop, who will handle it? We’ve learned that NO one is going to come through for us…the weight is on our shoulders; the burden is on our backs…

This was the call of womanhood in the 21st Century.

For women of color, many times, we see our mothers on the go. Single mothers, working mothers, women who are isolated and struggling to be their own village… Then, we re-create the patterns we’ve seen growing up. We model the superwomen and force ourselves to “stay strong” and “keep it moving!”

What if we STOPPED hustling and took the time to HEAL?

In this era of the HUSTLE…

  • 75-80% of doctors’ visits and illness diagnosed in women are stress related.
  • Autoimmune disorders (lupus, type 1 diabetes) in women have increased by 30%.
  • Women are 40% more likely than men to develop mental illness.

We are overweight, over-worked, over-committed and over-extended. This masculine standard for achieving success is hurting our souls, our bodies, our mental well-being.

God is calling his daughters to RESTORATION.

  • What if we gave our hearts the tender caress it called for?
  • What if we SLOWED down for wisdom and entered into a season of EASE?
  • What if we took time to breathe, to cultivate our inner-garden of peace and spiritual wholeness?What if we ended the masculine model of persecuting and competing with one another and came together for Divine purpose, reclaiming the beauty of wholeness?

It is time to go beyond the force of driveness, and FLOW in Divine Calling….

By Divine design, we were made to RECEIVE. We were made to flow in wisdom and grace..in Queenhood.

You don’t see a QUEEN rushing, worrying or sweating. She reigns in calm poise and spiritual GRACE.

I invite you to be honored, celebrated and spiritually pampered in Girlfriend Therapy: a Sacred Sisterhood Circle Saturday Series, where we minister to the health of your soul.

This Saturday, March 24th 8 AM PACIFIC /10 AM CENTRAL / 11 AM EASTERN

RSVP HERE for this Free Girlfriends Therapy Time

In our time together, my spiritual mentor, Shannon Evette, will speak to the soul of a woman. She will call forth our place of feminine ease and divine grace as we come together as a sisterhood, to COME HOME to the truth of who we are, to be refreshed by the still waters of the Holy Spirit.

Will you join me?

Click here to RSVP

 

Blessings & Love,

 

TB

Give Yourself Permission

Give yourself permission to be still.  End the rush and the hustle. God’s favor can take you further than your hustle ever will.

It’s a trust thing. Let Him direct and order your steps in this season as you heal your life.  Do you really and sincerely believe that all things are working together for your good?  I mean really.  Let’s look at this:

  • The failed relationship
  • The cheating spouse or significant other
  • The significant other or spouse who does not treat you right
  • The friend who acts funny or suddenly gets cold towards you
  • The people at work
  • Your dysfunctional, strange or weird family members
  • Your finances, job, ministry or school situation
  • Your health
  • Your mistakes you made and the consequences
  • Your children and their issues (or lack of children)
  • Your calling or purpose in life
  • And everything else in your life that is hard to understand and painful.

All things.  We have to make an intentional choice to believe that these things are the very stepping stones and instruments of God for His purposes to refine our character and point us to His heart and our purpose in Him.

If I didn’t know what it felt like to come home after church one day only to find that my husband had emptied out his side of the closet and his clothes out of the drawers to move in with his girlfriend while I sat with a six month old infant, a 3 year old and his stepson, questioning my worth as a wife, woman and a mother, I wouldn’t have any power to speak to other women in the same situation.

If it were not for my failed marriage above and the subsequent dead-end relationship (the one in which I walked around with my fiancé’s deceased wife’s wedding ring on my finger for almost 7 years as my engagement ring), you would not be reading this blog post today.

If I didn’t take the time to write and reflect in my tattered and tear stained journals, back in those days when I was waiting on my “fiancé” to call or text me, while looking at that ring on my hand wondering when we were going to finally get it together, there would not have been a book written about how to get out of a dead end relationship.

If I didn’t learn the lessons of the parking lot Christmas Eve gift exchanges between my “fiancé” and I because he never, ever wanted to spend Christmas with me and my family but always had a thousand excuses (but he said he loved me), I would not have anything to teach other women about how to recognize what real love looked like.

If I didn’t know what it felt like to struggle and battle immensely in my heart and mind to stop thinking, wondering, praying about, fantasizing, daydreaming, texting, calling, stalking a man in order to finally cut that soul tie, get real be healed and move on in my life, I would not be in a position to help other women move on from being entangled emotionally and sexually with a man who is not safe for their heart.

Never, ever in a million years could I have imagined that I would have written a book, over a hundred blog posts and emails, spoken into the lives of hundreds and hundreds of women based off my struggles, inadequacies, mistakes and humiliation as a woman.  Never.

That is why I tell you dear reader, to let God be God.  Let Him direct and order your steps in this season as you heal your life.  He tells us in Psalm 46:10 to be still and to know that He is God.  I say be still and let Him heal.  Don’t move yet.  Give yourself permission to be still and heal.  The longer you stay still, the better you heal.  The longer you heal, the more the healing can seal and remain strong.

Sit with Him and settle your soul about these matters for once and for all.

We live in a “hurry up and heal” social media society where we want to heal up quick so that we can post pictures on Facebook and Instagram to show the world that we are “okay” and “looking good.”

Be still and heal.  Do not rush or hurry to date, get out there, be seen, or start something that you have no personal capacity or space in your heart for right now.  This goes for more than just a romantic relationship.  This goes for anything that could distract you from what is most important.

Your voice and your testimony are being cultivated right now.  The deeper your healing, the deeper and the stronger your testimony will be and the more you will be able to help others.  Your purpose is being developed right here in the darkness between you and God.  My testimony and these emails that you receive were not birthed in 2018.  The seeds of what you see now were birthed back around 2008 or 2009 when I was sitting, isolated, waiting for him to come and see me, love me and marry me.  It was birthed when I was crying, praying and writing while realizing that I had a spiritual gift but was too ashamed about my situation to let anyone know.

That is place where ministry is birthed. Not in the limelight, but in the cave.

There is someone out there who is assigned to the story and the victory that you currently carry.  The world needs what you carry.  Don’t resist or rush the process.

Let God be God!

Love,

 

TB