FREE Year-End Bootcamp Webinar with Pastor Ron Pitts! #GetRealEnlarge

Blessings & Peace to You!

We only have a few weeks left in 2018.

In don’t’ know about you but A LOT has happened in 2018.  Some good and some not so good..,

Yet, here we are on the cusp of a brand new year.  Saying the same old stuff about how things are going to change and how you will be different year after year gets very, very old after you have endured many New Year’s Eves in your life is still pretty much the same.

Trust me, I know.

Practically speaking, the only REAL way to make any type of significant shifts, progress and forward momentum into a new year is to truly Get Real – real with yourself (the painful ugly stuff) and with God (come clean with Him) then Be Healed (take the time to do it) and then and only then can we truly expand and #Enlarge to become the men and women we are destined to be.

This is true freedom and real growth.

Often we want to pretend, fake, front, take shortcuts, be lazy, procrastinate, pretend we don’t know, we are too tired, we don’t have support, nobody likes us, nobody really cares, we don’t have the time, it is easier to watch TV, go out to eat, hang out, get entangled in dead-end relationships, be on social media ANYTHING but feeling the pain of healing.

So unless we hit rock bottom or are very intentional, we stay the same.

But this doesn’t have to be you!  I’ve partnered with a very powerful and anointed man of God, Pastor Ron Pitts out of Birmingham, AL to provide a safe space for you to DETOX from 2018 and prepare your soul, heart, and spirit to ENLARGE for what God has in store for you in 2019.

This is a FREE boot camp webinar designed to help you clear out 2018 and walk with confidence and clarity when 2019 comes in.  There may just be ONE key nugget, revelation, insight, or healing word that will create all the momentum you need heading into 2019 to make the shift!

The webinar will be held Wednesday, 12/19/18 at 7pm CST / 8 pm EST.  Two blessed and highly favored individuals who stay on the duration of the webinar will receive FREE signed copies of either my book A Woman’s Journey Home or Pastor Ron’s Book How to Respond When God Says No!


Don’t miss this powerful time of impartation, activation, detoxing and prayer!


In Him,


Before You Go Hard With Your Hustle in 2016 Remember These Two Words….


Yes! I got my special 2016 planner already pre-filled, pre-planned & pre-populated!

Yes! I signed up for my coaching, this class, that workshop, that seminar, etc.!

Yes! I am on a __ day ____ of fast with my church! (you fill in the blanks.)

Hold up. wait a Minute!

All of these things are necessary if you plan on accomplishing anything.   I’m doing the same things too.  Far from being perfect, however, I will struggle and tweak as I go along.

For that reason over the years, I have learned TWO VERY IMPORTANT WORDS as we all stand at the Starting Line of 2016….



That’s right BABY STEPS! If you get all gung-ho, and busy too fast, too quick and too much you will 1) quickly tucker out, fall apart in overwhelm and burnout or 2) get sidetracked and distracted with the tyranny of the urgent.

To avoid falling into these traps, remember who your source is – Christ! We are reminded in Acts 17:28 that in Him we live, in Him we move and in Him we have all of our being. In John 15:5, Christ Himself clearly tells us that without Him we can do nothing – zilch – nada. Well, you may say I have done quite a bit in my life before Christ and I know I can make stuff happen now. Yes, you can in your own strength and in your own power, but will the reason and the motivations withstand the test of eternal, kingdom significance and value?

There is nothing that you can do of any eternal significance for Christ apart from Christ. Everything else you do on your own and in your personal power without Him will not matter beyond your life on earth.

So don’t rely on your own strength at the starting gate of 2016 – rely on His Strength if you expect to fulfill a God-given vision and mandate. Relying upon Him requires that you take BABY STEPS until you are able to move at a quicker pace. Until you got the hang of that new thought pattern, habit, routine, new business idea, writing, whatever it may be.

Two scriptures that I always lean on to help me is Philippians 1:6 and Mark 7:37 which tells us to be confident that He who begun a good work in you will complete it and that He does all things well. Remember He (NOT YOU) began the good work and He (NOT YOU) is the one who will do all things well as you cooperate with Him taking steps towards implementing His Vision for 2016.

So the key, two most important words for this year is Baby Steps. Small consistent steps over time, in order and in His strength will carry you much further and enable you to maintain and sustain over the long haul as you begin this year. You will look back over the series of baby steps that you took and realize that yes indeed, you have truly covered much ground and it was all because you didn’t try too hard, too fast and too quick but because you took your time and leaned in Christ. In Psalm 37:23 we read that it is the STEPS of a good man or woman that are ordered and delighted in by God (not wild leaps, jumps and bounds into overwhelm and burnout) but the step-by-step process that strengthens you for the capacity to handle the full manifestation of the Vision.

So take a pause and quietly remember the following before rushing in all quick to “Go Hard” with your hustle:

1) Take Baby Steps

2) He Begun the Work in You

3) He will Complete the Work in You; and,

4) He Does ALL things Well!

For more information on breaking free from dead-end relationships and walking in completeness, order your copy of Get Out of that Dead-End Relationship NOW! A Christian Woman’s Guide on How to Get Real, Healed & Move On TODAY! Available at in paperback or Kindle or for an autographed copy go to

Regroup, Redefine, Recalibrate & Recover! The 4 Things You Must Do to Keep Moving Forward


Are you feeling scattered, unguarded, upset and unprepared as you close out this year? Did you learn anything from the hardships and circumstances in which you found yourself?  Was there anything done that could have been done differently?  Did you make the right decision?  What series of steps got you to this place right now?  What are you planning to do differently going forward and how in the world do you plan to do it?  To enter into the New Year with a fresh perspective and resolve, we must to do the following:


And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God. (I Samuel 30:6)

The word regroup is a military term which means to come back together in a tactical formation after dispersal in a retreat.  It also means to reorganize for renewed effort after a temporary setback.  In the scripture above, David and his troops came back home to Ziklag to find that the Amalekites had burned down the city and taken captive their wives, sons and daughters.  David and his men wept so badly that they did not have any tears left.  On top of that, his grief-stricken troops were thinking of stoning him to death.  Instead of getting swallowed up in the sea of grief, David chose to regroup by encouraging himself in the Lord.

Oftentimes in our lives, it is necessary to regroup after we have undergone a situation which caused us to scatter, use up and disperse our strength.  We find it necessary to regroup ourselves mentally, emotional and spiritually after we have taken a “hit” from the enemy so to speak.  If you have undergone several battles, obstacles, unforeseen events within this past year and have not taken the time to sit still before God and gather your spiritual and emotional strength, you will not be able to walk into the New Year with confident expectation, but rather you will walk into the New Year still scattered, unguarded and weak. Not only did David encourage himself in the Lord as part of his regrouping experience, but he went on to ask the Lord what he should do next.


And David inquired of the Lord, saying, Shall I pursue after this troop? Shall I overtake them? And he answered him, Pursue: for thou shalt surely overtake them, and without fail recover all….

Prior to the Ziklag experience, David had just been told to leave the Philistines because they did not trust him to fight on their side.  They were afraid that because he was Hebrew and still a servant of King Saul that he would later defect and turn against them.  After he was told to leave the Philistines first thing in the morning, he goes to Ziklag and finds the city burned and his wives taken captive.  Undoubtedly, this must have been a very low point for him.  He was anointed to be King of Israel, but here he was running in the wilderness from King Saul.  He tried to work for the Philistines who just rejected him and now everything he has is burned up and his wives are gone.

For this great and mighty warrior to ask God whether or not he should pursue the enemy seems to be rather odd.  He must have struggled mightily within himself regarding his calling, his identity and whether or not God was really on his side and if he really was ever going to be king of anything other than the rag tag group of warriors who wanted to stone him. Just like King David, once we have taken the time to regroup ourselves, it is now time to redefine and get clear again on Whose We Are and Why We Are Here — our purpose.  Is your “Who” tied up and wrapped up in your “Do”?  In other words are you defining yourself based on your natural performance and what “they” think?  In this past year did you define yourself based on how others perceived/saw/said about you or did you define yourself based on what God said about You?  Did you define your purpose as something that you have to “DO” in life or did you define your purpose as a state of actually BEING the person God created you to be?

In spite of the bitter blows to his identity as a future King through the Philistine rejection, the wilderness wanderings and the burn down of Ziklag, the Lord still tells him to pursue. God had to let this battle-fatigued mighty Man of God, Warrior, Future King that yes indeed, he shall pursue.  Yes, indeed God was still with him. Yes indeed, he is still called and yes indeed, he is still anointed! His identity is not wrapped up in his current bleak circumstances.  It is not wrapped up in his title.  It is not wrapped up in his performance as a leader.  It is, however, wrapped up in Him who is the Head of all principalities and powers (Col 2:10).  David is God’s workmanship created by Him for preordained good works (Eph 2:10).  In God, David lives and moves and has all his of his being (Acts 17:28).   God Almighty is the author and finisher of David’s faith and David’s story, not the Philistines, not King Saul, nor the Amalekites (Heb 12:1).

Getting very clear on this is important because it will enable to you live your life intentionally and on purpose.  Redefining yourself according to God’s view and what He has placed in YOU will make it much easier for you to make decisions that line up God’s intention for your life.  Being fully confident in Who You Are and Whose You Are enables to you to design the life you want to live and you will not be caught up with every thought, idea, notion, plan, etc. that other people may thrust upon you.  You will not be easily swayed into the crowd mentality of what “they said” and what “they are doing”.   Living this way will help us to identify people and situations that cannot cross over with us into the next season.


So David went, he and the six hundred men that were with him, and came to the brook Besor, where those that were left behind stayed. But David pursued, he and four hundred men: for two hundred abode behind, which were so faint that they could not go over the brook Besor… (I Samuel 30: 10) Once the decision was made to pursue, David went full steam ahead with the plan, however, he had to make some major adjustments.  He had to let go of some folks who could not go over with him.  Instead of taking the original group of 600 troops, he took only 400 with him to recover all.  The remaining 200 soldiers were too weak to cross over. He regrouped himself emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  He received clarity and redefinition from God in Who He Was at a very low point in his life.  Now it is time to make the proper adjustments in order to recover from the setback.  Some of us may need to make minor, fine-tuned adjustments to get back on track.  However many of us may need to do a major overhaul.

The word recalibrate is derived from calibrate which means to adjust precisely for a particular function. To recalibrate something means calibrate it AGAIN because it has deviated from the standard.  That’s how it is in our lives.  We start off on the right track and then due to circumstances, other people, wrong thinking, fears, etc. we start deviating from the set standard — what we know God has put in our hearts to do.  We allow life to keep us from walking in our purpose.  We allow toxic people who weaken us into our lives.  We then come to the end of a year or the end of a season and realize that we are way off track.

God has a precise and accurate way that he desires for us to flow and function in our lives.  He uses His Word and the Holy Spirit to calibrate us to keep us on track. As we sit on the brink of a new season, we must take the time to reexamine everything in our lives including relationships, certain situations, commitments, etc., with a view to making the necessary adjustments.  What needs to be recalibrated going forward so that we can recover from what happened and move into the next season?  

The two main keys to recalibrating our lives is to: 1) realize that we cannot do it in our own strength (Read “Are You Striving Inside or Resting? You Must Be At Rest To Receive the Blessing!” here  and 2) constantly renew and transform our thinking (Read “Cancel That Chorus – How to Cancel the Chorus of Ungodly Thoughts at .  If we try to stay perfectly calibrated in our own strength and power, we will fail.  If we fail to immerse ourselves in the Word of God and deal with the negative thought patterns we will not change. We will not reach perfection, however we can make progress as we adjust and fine-tune our lives so that we stay in alignment with the purpose and direction that God has called us to.


David recovered all that the Amalekites had taken and rescued his two wives…Nothing was missing, small or great, sons or daughters, spoil or anything that had been taken; David recovered all….(I Samuel 30: 18-19)

To recover means to get something back again; to restore one’s self to a normal state or to be compensated for.  It also means to get back something that was lost or taken away.  After David had gotten himself together (regrouped), remembered Who He Was (redefined), made some adjustments (recalibrated), he was now well on his way to getting back everything that was taken away from him (recovery).  In the David’s recovery process, it is interesting to note the unusual way in which God led David to the enemy’s camp.  He received direction and assistance from a very unlikely source – an Egyptian slave left by the Amalekites.  Note this pattern, he did not get directional help from his healthy, strong warrior comrades but from a sick, rejected slave left to die. (1 Samuel 30: 12-15).

Oftentimes, in our recovery process, we will require assistance from unlikely sources.  God usually does not take us down the path of recovery that WE THINK we should be on, but rather God’s ways and methods are often quite different and unusual.  Remember that His Ways are not our ways and His Thoughts are not our thoughts (Isaiah 55: 8-9).  Here we see a Mighty Man of War and Future King of Israel humbling himself, feeding and helping a lowly slave in order to recover all.  Who are we to think that we will not have to do something similar in order to move forward?  In the recovery process, we will need to swallow our pride and humble ourselves to receive the help we need in order to recover. This will require being honest with ourselves and our situation.

As you reflect over your life and prepare for moving forward, I strongly encourage you to NOT make another set of resolutions, but rather to take the time Regroup yourself from being scattered all over the place, seek the Lord for renewed clarity and Redefine Who You Are, work with the Lord to make the necessary Recalibrations and then — without fail, you shall surely Recover All.

Until Next Time,

Lady Tonika Maria