The Three Kinds of Couples + LoveRESET Masterclass


Greetings Dear Subscriber!

I was thinking the other day.

How often we log into Instagram and Facebook and see the beautiful couple pics – holding hands, at a nice restaurant, with the kids, after church, someplace outside with a gorgeous background…

You know which ones I am talking about – the perfect looking married or dating couple with the perfect pics. Some have lots of emoji’s & mushy language.  Sometimes there are others with lots of TMI and oversharing!

But follow them home.  Things may not be as rosy in the real life as it appears to be in their offline life. Honestly, the ones who share too much, are more of a red flag because it appears that they are relationally insecure.  Why? Those who overshare need the outside validity that they are okay and that their relationship is okay.

There are three types of Couples:

The Cute Couple: The #Instacouple with perfectly curated, captured and posed “relfies” (relationship selfies). The validity of their relationship ebbs and falls based on number of likes & comments on social media. They are too busy adjusting the filter and coming up with the right #hashtag instead of working on their relationship. Instead of being in the moment of these carefully curated and crafted pictures, they are too busy posing and posting to be truly PRESENT in the relationship.  When the pics are done, they may not even be really speaking to or engaging with each other at all.  They are image and Instagram conscious, not internally conscious.

The Couple of Convenience: These are the couples who are together because of shared history — NOT shared vision, purpose, goals and dreams.  They may have lost or never had a truly deep emotional and spiritual connection.  They are together for materials, religious, and financial reasons.  The other person makes their life easier and they are “good enough”.  They are settling. They stay with the other person because of a perceived lack if they were not there – not because the other person actually ADDS to their life.

The Called Couple: These are the couples who are mutually aligned in purpose and who are each other’s equal on multiple dimensions (not JUST spiritually equally yoked).  Individually, each one comes to the relationship table already full (not thirsty), living fruitful lives and are emotionally ready for a real relationship. These are the ones who see their relationship as more than just about them, but for a higher purpose.  These are the ones committed to personal growth individually as well as a couple.

Which couple are you? If you are in a CALLED relationship, many blessings and let me know!  What are you doing to maintain at that high level?  If you are not in a relationship, where have found yourself in previous relationships and what are you doing NOW to be ready for the level of maturity that being in a CALLED relationship requires?

To learn more about these couples — Watch the video I created on this very topic (click here for the link) –

If you are not in a relationship and desire to be ready for a CALLED kind of Love, come be a part of a series of FREE Live Closed Mentorship sessions with me at  I’m transitioning to a higher level of conversation about love for those who are ready to join me on this journey.  If you have cut the ties, done the work and are actively taking steps to walk in purpose, come check it out.  It’s totally free. Walk with me!

Love Tonika

Call Playback! – Rachel G – Navigating Digital Dating, Social Media & Relationships



What a powerful call we had last night with Rachel G!!!!!

• Learn difference between a Real Relationship v. Socialships and Likeships!

• Navigating Digital Dating With Purpose

• Setting standards and becoming Whole Woman of Substance On and Off Line!

• Importance of establishing a Dating In Person Not over the Digitally on the DM & Inboxing

• Boundaries, Trust & Online Insecurities — so much more!!!

Click here to listen via the web!!!



Join Us Tonight – Navigate your Relationship on Social Media Wisely!

marriage429socialmediapledge gaskins4getcommunicate

Would be very curious to know how folks felt about #1 in the marriage pledge!!  Numbers 2 and 3 are a no-brainer if you expect to establish trust and have a real relationship.  Your thoughts??

Solid, clear, mature communication is what is needed not subliminal messages or social media activity to have a healthy relationship.  If really wants to be in a true relationship with you, they will reach out to you and talk to you. If you are having struggles in this area — watching someone and you KNOW they are online but they won’t respond to your text, be on this call tonight with Relationship Expert Rachel Gilmer. TONIGHT, TUESDAY 1/31/17 @ 7PM EST  / 6PM CST Call 712-775-7031, Code 179148 #SocialMedia #Dating #Relationships #Love #HealthyLove #MatureLove #Wisdom #BreakUps #Couples #Purpose #Peace #Pain2Power2Purpose #Growth #Healing #NoRegrets