The Making of Royalty: Protocols of the Palace

The Making of Royalty: Protocols of the Palace

Protocol: the official procedure or system of rules governing affairs of state or diplomatic occasions

God has a protocol that he takes Queens (and Kings) through.  If you are a believer, you are an ambassador of Christ.  You have authority (Luke 10:19). We are daughters of the King and for my brothers reading this, you are Sons of the King.  As such, we must know the protocols necessary to function effectively in the palace of our God-ordained purpose.  Queen Esther is our model throughout this series as we carefully look at how she conducted herself throughout her journey and glean wisdom for ourselves in our own personal journeys.

First of all, it begins in your mind. There must be a transition in your mindset – a renewal, if you will, that has to take place for you to fully function and walk in your role authentically.

As a regent and ruler in the Kingdom of God, you have to deeply know who you are in Him and function from that perspective.  You must know who you are when:

  • Your authority is tested.
  • Your emotions are everywhere
  • You make a mistake
  • Things go wrong
  • You are under attack
  • All hell breaks loose
  • The counterfeits show up, i.e., when the man you thought you were going to marry suddenly breaks if off or you find out he was unfaithful; or if you are a man reading this,
  • The woman you thought was the one, turned out to be the exact opposite of what you thought she was and you found out she had a lot of profound issues…..

During these you must must have grab hold of is the promises of God AND His processes for unfolding them in our lives.  The Bible is replete with promises and His processes, but for today let’s just look at a few and how it looks actually walked out in life.  The promises and processes of God:

  1. Are Yes and Amen (2 Cor 1:20) God says yes, then puts us in process to prepare us. Often we try to circumvent and short-cut the process, but short cuts always wind up taking longer. Remember, Esther was in process for a year before she was even allowed in the presence of the King.
  2. He has begun a good work in you and will perform it (Phil 1:6) Let Him finish that healing process and allow the healing to seal. Cooperate with God as He is healing you. Remember, you don’t choose the method or the way or how He heals, orders and prepares you. Our job is to just say yes.  Queen Esther humbly surrendered to Haggai’s instructions for her preparation and received special favor.  She didn’t try to tell him how she wanted her beauty and preparation treatments.  She didn’t try to force or dictate or tell Him what she thought it should be because it was uncomfortable and inconvenient.  Look at her end result.  She received half the kingdom.
  3. Lay aside every weight that so easily besets us (Heb. 12:2). We can’t take the dead weight of dead-end relationships, old issues and old wounds to the palace of purpose. Queen Esther had to let go of the dead weight of the residue surrounded around being an orphan.  She had to let the dead weight of a spirit of abandonment go.  She had the wounds similar to those of us who have gone thru rejection, traumatic childhoods, and divorce.  Sometimes we get stuck because we have become so used to and addicted to that spirit, that energy, that same old familiar pain.  It is dead weight. Let it go.
  4. Possess your soul – your mind, your will and your emotions patiently (Luke 21:19) – Queen Esther had to be patient and endure for an entire year in strange palace full of mystique and intrigue. In a harem full of other women vying to be the Queen, she couldn’t afford to not be in full possession of her mind, will and emotions. Especially when it was time for her to think and strategize to save her people. She was not “in her feelings”.  People’s lives were on the line. What about you? Whose lives are depending upon you to remain poised under pressure?
  5. Stagger not at the promises of God (Romans 4:20) Abraham saw his impotence and Sarah’s barrenness and still believed that he would become a father. Even after heartbreaks, divorce, all kinds of bad situations, are you able to still believe and have hope?  Stumbling, stalling, staggering when the situation looks bad is not the protocol of the palace.    We must walk boldly to the throne when we need strength.   Queen Esther most certainly felt afraid when it was time for her to make her request before the King but she did it anyway saying “If I perish, I perish.”
  6. Cast your cares (1 Pet 5:7) But don’t cast away your PROMISES (Heb. 10:35) for there is recompense of GREAT reward. We tend to do the opposite. We keep our cares and cast away our confidence.  To operate in our authority requires a deep level of trust in God that we are able to truly cast the care while at the same time keep our confidence.  This is the protocol of Kings and Queens.  They are confident and strong in the Lord and they do not allow the anxieties and cares of the world to overtake them.

I encourage you to embrace these promises fully in order to rightly follow the protocol of your palace — the protocols of the promised land of where you are going — Own you voice, own the vision , own your God-given value requires that we fully embrace the promises and the process God takes us through to get there.

Ownership and occupancy of the palace means that we must know who we are and whose we are – this is not based on up and down feelings, but the word of God.  Grab HOLD of the promises. Every time you hide out, shrink back, get stuck in overthought, shame, embarrassment, what other people think, comparison, and competition, you lose territory to the enemy.  Every day you don’t do what you are supposed to do, you could be preventing someone’s prayers from being answered. Stagger Not!  Embrace the Protocol.  Embrace the Process!

Advertisements

Three Things I have Learned about Love

 

IvelearnedTBYellow

As I reflect upon Love and all of the hoopla surrounding it as we approach Valentine ’s Day, several personal lessons come to mind.

The biggest lesson about love that I have learned is that it is NOT about how to avoid getting in a dead-end relationship.

It’s NOT about all the red flags to avoid.

It’s NOT about being perfect, fully flowing in your life purpose, or being totally and completed healed up before love shows up.

It’s about SURRENDER.

Love is about surrendering your notion and idea of control.  It’s about giving up what I think I need and allowing life and love to unfold as God allows – not me forcing it.

I was the Queen of Control.  I wanted a guarantee that if I risked loving again that 1) I wouldn’t get caught up in another dead-end 2) that I wouldn’t make a fool of myself after I had written my book and 3) that it would be the right relationship.

What I had to realize is to love freely and to show up fully for the kind of relationship that I claimed I wanted and prayed for would mean that I would have to take the plunge and learn to trust again.

If you are praying for real love, then be ready to trust and surrender to the process.  You can’t control and manage it according to your past point of reference.

The next big lesson….. PRIDE & PROTECTION

As a Christians we are taught to guard our heart with all diligence for out of it proceeds the issue of life.  I believe I have misinterpreted this verse.  Instead of simply guarding our hearts from outside negative influences and sin, we tend to guard it against love and keep up walls, but somehow we manage to let the negativity and the sin creep on in!

My heart was so guarded that I was looking for everything WRONG in a person in the name of protecting myself.  My pride was such that I absolutely could not afford to make another big mistake again.

Most importantly, because of my past wounds, I wanted to cover and protect, put my best foot forward and not let anyone get close enough to see my ugly, my idiosyncrasies, my mishaps, imperfections and struggles.  I had been mistreated and abandoned in dead-end relationships for too long to risk putting myself out there again.  How would I know that the person would run away and abandon me like the others if they saw the real me behind the smile, the book and the nice pictures?

For those of you who have suffered abandonment, betrayal, dead-ends, and all of the wounds that go with it, ask God for the grace to open your heart to love again and the wisdom in choosing the right person.

The last lesson I learned is this….

When you get into a real relationship that’s actually healthy, it is very different than the dysfunction you have been accustomed to.  Also, it’s easy to talk about what to do and what not to do until you actually get in one.

What I’ve learned is that the biggest blessing that comes from taking the time to get real, be healed, and learn to be alone for a while is that I have come to know myself and God on a much deeper level.  If I did not learn to love myself, be whole by myself and accept myself while I was still by myself, then adding another human to the equation would equal another dead-end.

It goes back to the question: How can I expect another person to know me, love me, and accept me when I don’t give that to myself?

If you are alone this Valentine’s, fret not.  Take your time and LEARN during this season and take advantage of all of the growth and healing that is for you. Most of all, remember that you are never truly alone!

Until Next time,

Tonika

Stay connected to my #GetRealBeHealed Movement by clicking here!  For a FREE audio on 3 Signs of a Toxic Relationship go to www.tonikabreeden.com and download today.  If you are struggling in a dead-end relationship, check out my book Get Out of that Dead-End Relationship NOW available on www.amazon.com in paperback and Kindle.

 

When I Thought I Was God: The Danger of Fretting & Figuring

incontrol

Isaiah 30: 15-17

For this is what the master, the Lord the Holy One of Israel says: “If you repented and patiently waited for me, you would be delivered; if you calmly trusted in me you would find strength, but you were unwilling…”( New English Translation)

God, the Master, The Holy of Israel, has this solemn counsel: “Your salvation requires you to turn back to me and stop your silly efforts to save yourselves.  Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on me — The very thing you’ve been unwilling to do…” (The Message)

I have recited these scriptures over and over again, yet I still struggle to remain at rest on a daily basis.  Some days are better than others, but for the most part, it is no easy feat to calmly trust in God when everything seems to go wrong.  When mishaps, mistakes, and misunderstandings occur.  When there is not enough money to go around.  When it seems like I am all alone.  When people act funny towards me or get easily offended.  When the kids act up.

God clearly tells me these scriptures to repent or turn back to him and calmly trust Him.  Yet, I am still unwilling.  The main way my unwillingness to calmly trust in God is manifested by choosing to fret and figure in a situation instead of calmly waiting on God for revelation.

There is a difference between calmly going over a situation in your mind and going off the deep end trying to figure it out.  You know that you have crossed over into not trusting in God when the thinking turns into fretful figuring.  This is a manifestation of a silly effort to save myself when I try to figure out something that only God can give the answer for.

The last time I checked, Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace. He did not fuss and fume to figure out anything.  The only time He sweated was at the Cross when he sweated blood in preparation to die for the sins of the world.  He told us plainly to not let our hearts be troubled and neither let it be afraid (John 14:27).  He told us to stop allowing ourselves to be agitated, distressed, fearful, cowardly and unsettled.  He told us to fret not ourselves.  He lives in us.  We are complete in Him who is the Head of all Principalities and Powers (Col 2:10).  In Him we live and move and have all of our being (Acts 17:28). If all of this is true, then why do we act the opposite? Why do we let agitated and anxious thoughts take over until they take root in our souls?

It is because we are carnal human beings.  The Self, The Ego, The Flesh naturally thinks that it is God, that it can figure out something, that it can control something that somehow or another it can solve something and get the credit without God.   We want to be IN CONTROL.  It irks us to no end when we are not “in the know”, when stuff happens that we didn’t expect, what stuff takes a turn that we didn’t anticipate and we are left struggling trying to gather ourselves.  When things like this happen, we decide to do all we can to anticipate, plan, prepare and be in control of our lives, but in spite of our best made plans and preparations, something inevitably goes awry.

When stuff like this happens it HURTS.  It feels bad.  We look bad.  What will other people think? The list goes on. We don’t want to hurt again.  We don’t want to go through that mess again. We don’t want to be embarrassed.  We have our pride.  We don’t like the shame.  So we figure. We fret.  We plan. We fuss.  We think and think and think some more.  We can turn a situation around in our heads a thousand different ways.  We say a quick prayer and think we are trusting in God.  But we are really trusting in ourselves. We think we can figure out all by ourselves.  Even though we would never dare verbalize it or admit it to ourselves, our actions show that we think we are smarter than God. God takes too long to do stuff.  We can do something now.  Although we have confessed Jesus as our Savior, He is not our Lord when we still have our small weak, selves sitting on the thrones of our hearts trying to run our personal worlds as if we were the Sovereign God.

In my head I know that I am not Sovereign, yet  in my day-to-day life,  I sure think I am!  I don’t have any control over my own heart beating.  I can’t control the automatic inhaling and exhaling of my lungs.   I can’t wake myself up in the morning from deep slumber. I could easily die in my sleep on any given night and not know it.  God, however, has control over all of this in my life.  He created me. He knows my thoughts and words before I think them.  He knows the past, present and future for me. Why do I think I am smart by trying to figure out something beyond my capacity?  Why do I worry, fret, fume, and figure?  It is because I think I am God.   I still wake up in the morning and act like I’m God when I attempt to control circumstances or run my life by figuring in the flesh instead of calmly trusting that the One Who made me in the first place will order my steps.

To me the most painful part of this awareness is the fact 1) it is sin and 2) the fruit of such behavior will eventually manifest in my life as the form of lack of peace and poise.  How can we attract unsaved people to God when we have no peace? Why would they want what we got? Peace is defined as the absence of all strife or fighting within or without.  It is also defined as the absence of agitation or discord. Fretting, figuring, trying to be in control is evidence of strife, agitation and discord from within.

The biggest blessing from the times where I have surrendered is the state of peace from within. It is worth its weight in Gold.  Nothing can compare to it.  Surrendering your will to God’s will in life situations bring peace.  Peace that passes your understanding.  It is ironic that the only way to come to this level, is a slow, long process of self death.  By the time you really surrender, you are to the point where you could care less, you just want peace.  When God is Sovereign, you have Peace.  When Self is Sovereign, you have Stress. When God is truly on the Throne, there is quietness in the soul.

I realize that I will not change overnight.  It would be very easy to actually start stressing about the fact that I am unable to trust God fully and that I am probably relying on myself most of the time. Ouch.  I cannot change myself by trying figure it out how to do it.  It is a work of the Holy Spirit from within.   Therefore I continue to read this scripture further and receive comfort in knowing that when we truly settle down and rely upon Him that he ….“ longs to be gracious to (us); therefore he will rise up to show you (us) compassion.  For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him…”