He Makes Everything Beautiful In It’s Time

As I sit here and contemplate my life for the first and second quarter thus far of 2018, I am amazed.  Let me share a bit of my recent testimony that has quietly unfolded over the past 5 months.

On 1/1/18, I dragged out my old crooked whiteboard.  I found some green and blue markers and I began to write out my intentions and goals for this year, after having prayed, hand written and typed them out.

I knew I needed something to look at — a reminder on a daily basis of my goals in each area of my life to stay on track.

On goal in particular, was to type up a list of all of the things that needed repairing in my home.  I felt led to do this, in spite of feeling quite foolish because I did not have the funds for all of these repairs. This home was purchased five months after my divorce was final – 13 years ago.

Over the years, I have had many moments of shame, embarrassment and struggle around keeping this house together with two small boys at the time, a limited salary as a single mom with a large daycare bill.

My intention was to somehow, someway take small steps to get things repaired so that I could sell it and move.  The list was long and exhaustive there were several major repairs and lots of minor things that needed to be done before the house could sell.  We are talking thousands of dollars.  On top of that the value of my home decreased when the housing market crashed in 2008, and it was just now starting to regain value over the last few years.

Yet, I felt that God was leading me to walk around the house and type up the long detailed repair list.

“But God, you know I don’t have the money to do this….it was painful to even walk through and list it all out.  He said, ”Do it.”  So I did.

Mysteriously, as if on cue, the VERY next day, my real estate agent (who had been quietly and persistently pestering me for the last year and I would blow him off) reached out once again …”Ms. Breeden, are you ready to talk about selling your home? I know it will sell.”

Instead of brushing him off like I have always done in the past because of fear, not having money to fix it, and because I didn’t think it would sell high enough for me to net a profit after the repairs, I listened to him.

This time I said “Yes.”  I surrendered my pride and sent him my long list.  I signed the paperwork.  Packed up and moved out. Two weeks later, the home was restored better than it was when I purchased it brand new.

Upon my first view of the home, when the repairs were completed, I wept.  I’m talking about boo-hoo weeping.  Why? Because it was unrecognizable. It was beautiful inside and out. I wept because of the prayers.  Because of the shame. Because of hiding out.

Within 48 hours of being on the market, the house was under contract.

As I type this today, it is now sold.  Now here is the clincher.  In going through the paperwork on the original purchase of the home to dig up some information for the pending sale, I noticed that I purchased the home on 5/11/05.  I almost fell out because the closing date on the sale of the home was scheduled for and has now occurred on 5/11/18!! Pause and think about this.  What are the odds of this happening??? How could the real estate and the attorney somehow manage to schedule my closing to sell the home on the EXACT same date that I brought it 13 years ago? Purchased 5/11/05. Sold 5/11/18. WHAT!?!

God’s timing is impeccable.  He is flawless in execution.  He KNOWS what he is doing!!!

If he did this for me, dear reader, he can do it for you!

I said all of that to say this.  No matter how badly I wanted to repair and move out of my home, last year, three years ago, five years ago —-

I wasn’t ready mentally or emotionally.

The timing wasn’t right.

The market wasn’t right.

The right people and connections for repairing it were not In place.

But then there came a DUE SEASON.  A certain time. The moment when KAIROS and CHRONOS time intersected.  If God did it for me, He most certainly can do it for you – if you believe and act accordingly!

For this to happen for you:

  • Must have an ear to hear that little nudge to act in faith – not overthinking it, doubting it or second guessing. What would have happened had I not written that list in spite of how foolish I felt typing it up?  I would still be sitting in that house right now.
  • Must be willing to take the leap of faith and act! When the window of opportunity that you have been praying for presents itself, you had better act! You may not get another chance for a very long time!  I had to move in haste without hesitation because I recognized it as God’s hand moving in my life.  I am now very glad that I did.
  • What is God nudging you to do, but you keep distracting yourself on purpose, watching Netflix, scrolling on social media, going on dates and dinners, being all caught up with this and that, running behind your kids, being all busy with stuff and activities, falling asleep, being too tired, etc.?

There is a time and season for everything. ….Your time could be now or on the way. Are you ready for what you are praying for? Reply back and let me know what faith step you are taking this week.

Remember: God makes everything (all of the pain, the bad stuff, the struggle and sorrow) beautiful in its time (Eccl. 3:1 and 3:11)

Get ready, Your time is coming!




The Making of Royalty: Protocols of the Palace

The Making of Royalty: Protocols of the Palace

Protocol: the official procedure or system of rules governing affairs of state or diplomatic occasions

God has a protocol that he takes Queens (and Kings) through.  If you are a believer, you are an ambassador of Christ.  You have authority (Luke 10:19). We are daughters of the King and for my brothers reading this, you are Sons of the King.  As such, we must know the protocols necessary to function effectively in the palace of our God-ordained purpose.  Queen Esther is our model throughout this series as we carefully look at how she conducted herself throughout her journey and glean wisdom for ourselves in our own personal journeys.

First of all, it begins in your mind. There must be a transition in your mindset – a renewal, if you will, that has to take place for you to fully function and walk in your role authentically.

As a regent and ruler in the Kingdom of God, you have to deeply know who you are in Him and function from that perspective.  You must know who you are when:

  • Your authority is tested.
  • Your emotions are everywhere
  • You make a mistake
  • Things go wrong
  • You are under attack
  • All hell breaks loose
  • The counterfeits show up, i.e., when the man you thought you were going to marry suddenly breaks if off or you find out he was unfaithful; or if you are a man reading this,
  • The woman you thought was the one, turned out to be the exact opposite of what you thought she was and you found out she had a lot of profound issues…..

During these you must must have grab hold of is the promises of God AND His processes for unfolding them in our lives.  The Bible is replete with promises and His processes, but for today let’s just look at a few and how it looks actually walked out in life.  The promises and processes of God:

  1. Are Yes and Amen (2 Cor 1:20) God says yes, then puts us in process to prepare us. Often we try to circumvent and short-cut the process, but short cuts always wind up taking longer. Remember, Esther was in process for a year before she was even allowed in the presence of the King.
  2. He has begun a good work in you and will perform it (Phil 1:6) Let Him finish that healing process and allow the healing to seal. Cooperate with God as He is healing you. Remember, you don’t choose the method or the way or how He heals, orders and prepares you. Our job is to just say yes.  Queen Esther humbly surrendered to Haggai’s instructions for her preparation and received special favor.  She didn’t try to tell him how she wanted her beauty and preparation treatments.  She didn’t try to force or dictate or tell Him what she thought it should be because it was uncomfortable and inconvenient.  Look at her end result.  She received half the kingdom.
  3. Lay aside every weight that so easily besets us (Heb. 12:2). We can’t take the dead weight of dead-end relationships, old issues and old wounds to the palace of purpose. Queen Esther had to let go of the dead weight of the residue surrounded around being an orphan.  She had to let the dead weight of a spirit of abandonment go.  She had the wounds similar to those of us who have gone thru rejection, traumatic childhoods, and divorce.  Sometimes we get stuck because we have become so used to and addicted to that spirit, that energy, that same old familiar pain.  It is dead weight. Let it go.
  4. Possess your soul – your mind, your will and your emotions patiently (Luke 21:19) – Queen Esther had to be patient and endure for an entire year in strange palace full of mystique and intrigue. In a harem full of other women vying to be the Queen, she couldn’t afford to not be in full possession of her mind, will and emotions. Especially when it was time for her to think and strategize to save her people. She was not “in her feelings”.  People’s lives were on the line. What about you? Whose lives are depending upon you to remain poised under pressure?
  5. Stagger not at the promises of God (Romans 4:20) Abraham saw his impotence and Sarah’s barrenness and still believed that he would become a father. Even after heartbreaks, divorce, all kinds of bad situations, are you able to still believe and have hope?  Stumbling, stalling, staggering when the situation looks bad is not the protocol of the palace.    We must walk boldly to the throne when we need strength.   Queen Esther most certainly felt afraid when it was time for her to make her request before the King but she did it anyway saying “If I perish, I perish.”
  6. Cast your cares (1 Pet 5:7) But don’t cast away your PROMISES (Heb. 10:35) for there is recompense of GREAT reward. We tend to do the opposite. We keep our cares and cast away our confidence.  To operate in our authority requires a deep level of trust in God that we are able to truly cast the care while at the same time keep our confidence.  This is the protocol of Kings and Queens.  They are confident and strong in the Lord and they do not allow the anxieties and cares of the world to overtake them.

I encourage you to embrace these promises fully in order to rightly follow the protocol of your palace — the protocols of the promised land of where you are going — Own you voice, own the vision , own your God-given value requires that we fully embrace the promises and the process God takes us through to get there.

Ownership and occupancy of the palace means that we must know who we are and whose we are – this is not based on up and down feelings, but the word of God.  Grab HOLD of the promises. Every time you hide out, shrink back, get stuck in overthought, shame, embarrassment, what other people think, comparison, and competition, you lose territory to the enemy.  Every day you don’t do what you are supposed to do, you could be preventing someone’s prayers from being answered. Stagger Not!  Embrace the Protocol.  Embrace the Process!

Give Yourself Permission

Give yourself permission to be still.  End the rush and the hustle. God’s favor can take you further than your hustle ever will.

It’s a trust thing. Let Him direct and order your steps in this season as you heal your life.  Do you really and sincerely believe that all things are working together for your good?  I mean really.  Let’s look at this:

  • The failed relationship
  • The cheating spouse or significant other
  • The significant other or spouse who does not treat you right
  • The friend who acts funny or suddenly gets cold towards you
  • The people at work
  • Your dysfunctional, strange or weird family members
  • Your finances, job, ministry or school situation
  • Your health
  • Your mistakes you made and the consequences
  • Your children and their issues (or lack of children)
  • Your calling or purpose in life
  • And everything else in your life that is hard to understand and painful.

All things.  We have to make an intentional choice to believe that these things are the very stepping stones and instruments of God for His purposes to refine our character and point us to His heart and our purpose in Him.

If I didn’t know what it felt like to come home after church one day only to find that my husband had emptied out his side of the closet and his clothes out of the drawers to move in with his girlfriend while I sat with a six month old infant, a 3 year old and his stepson, questioning my worth as a wife, woman and a mother, I wouldn’t have any power to speak to other women in the same situation.

If it were not for my failed marriage above and the subsequent dead-end relationship (the one in which I walked around with my fiancé’s deceased wife’s wedding ring on my finger for almost 7 years as my engagement ring), you would not be reading this blog post today.

If I didn’t take the time to write and reflect in my tattered and tear stained journals, back in those days when I was waiting on my “fiancé” to call or text me, while looking at that ring on my hand wondering when we were going to finally get it together, there would not have been a book written about how to get out of a dead end relationship.

If I didn’t learn the lessons of the parking lot Christmas Eve gift exchanges between my “fiancé” and I because he never, ever wanted to spend Christmas with me and my family but always had a thousand excuses (but he said he loved me), I would not have anything to teach other women about how to recognize what real love looked like.

If I didn’t know what it felt like to struggle and battle immensely in my heart and mind to stop thinking, wondering, praying about, fantasizing, daydreaming, texting, calling, stalking a man in order to finally cut that soul tie, get real be healed and move on in my life, I would not be in a position to help other women move on from being entangled emotionally and sexually with a man who is not safe for their heart.

Never, ever in a million years could I have imagined that I would have written a book, over a hundred blog posts and emails, spoken into the lives of hundreds and hundreds of women based off my struggles, inadequacies, mistakes and humiliation as a woman.  Never.

That is why I tell you dear reader, to let God be God.  Let Him direct and order your steps in this season as you heal your life.  He tells us in Psalm 46:10 to be still and to know that He is God.  I say be still and let Him heal.  Don’t move yet.  Give yourself permission to be still and heal.  The longer you stay still, the better you heal.  The longer you heal, the more the healing can seal and remain strong.

Sit with Him and settle your soul about these matters for once and for all.

We live in a “hurry up and heal” social media society where we want to heal up quick so that we can post pictures on Facebook and Instagram to show the world that we are “okay” and “looking good.”

Be still and heal.  Do not rush or hurry to date, get out there, be seen, or start something that you have no personal capacity or space in your heart for right now.  This goes for more than just a romantic relationship.  This goes for anything that could distract you from what is most important.

Your voice and your testimony are being cultivated right now.  The deeper your healing, the deeper and the stronger your testimony will be and the more you will be able to help others.  Your purpose is being developed right here in the darkness between you and God.  My testimony and these emails that you receive were not birthed in 2018.  The seeds of what you see now were birthed back around 2008 or 2009 when I was sitting, isolated, waiting for him to come and see me, love me and marry me.  It was birthed when I was crying, praying and writing while realizing that I had a spiritual gift but was too ashamed about my situation to let anyone know.

That is place where ministry is birthed. Not in the limelight, but in the cave.

There is someone out there who is assigned to the story and the victory that you currently carry.  The world needs what you carry.  Don’t resist or rush the process.

Let God be God!