When The Queen Is Ready, Her King Will Appear

Are you ready? (p.s. for my brothers and Men of God who are on this blog, please read and pass on to your sisters !!)

That is the higher question.

I listened to a live call this past Saturday morning that was very powerful and there so many things that really resonated with my spirit but too much to share in an email, but I will share a few brief nuggets.

(CLICK HERE to have access to the next free Girlfriend’s Therapy and Saturday Sisterhood sessions on Thursday 4/5/18 at 9PM EST and Saturday 4/7/18 at 11am EST  of this powerful sisterhood call on love, men, money, wholeness and being a Real Queen. Seating is limited)

When we carry the negative expectation of being disappointed by a man because of our past experiences (our father wounds & disappointments, ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends, ex-fiancés), we prove ourselves right and set ourselves up to be disappointed.

When we have lived a life of being:

Unseen

Uncovered

Unsought for.

We cover, hide, make excuses and pretend.

We are operating in the emotional environment of disappointment.  We attract what we expect – more disappointment.

A Queen has positioned and prepared herself by opening her heart to God first, learning how to receive from God first and then she can trust and receive from a man again.  It’s called having an open heart, not a hard and closed heart. We can verbalize that we trust God, but our actions (mindless dating and dinners, casual sex here and there, fruitless activities, busyness, and numbness) say something else.

Disappointments, hurts, traumas and dramas keep us in a protective mode, a spirit of disappointment and a negative expectation that overrides our prayers and keep us in learned helplessness “waiting on Boaz”.  That is not the way of a Queen!

A Queen intentionally develops into her personal state of wholeness and worthiness.  She is about purpose.  Why do we deeply desire marriage before we have even discovered why God put us on this earth for– our purpose?

Why get connected to a man while you are still broken and starving for love? Why?

When you find a man and get married in this state of mind it is always painful.  Especially, when years later you come realize your true life purpose, but alas the man you are married too is not in alignment and you are not able to flow in what God called you to do.

A Queen is already in her flow.  She is in position, wholehearted, open to love and purposeful when her King appears.

This means releasing and healing from those negative disappointments and expectations.

This means opening your heart and being able to trust again.

This means expanding your capacity to receive.

Oh and by the way, this all affects your finances too.

As long as we are frustrated, disappointment in the romance department or greedy and inpatient for money, we are blocked up.

Love and financial increase requires being stretched to receive. It requires the ability to be whole and to take risks.  It requires trust and stretching.

This means that there will be discomfort.  This means trusting God more.  This means healing the old trauma, dramas and wounds.  This means letting go of disappointments, pride and unworthiness that make your heart hard instead of open. It requires a willingness to exercise faith and do the heart and emotional work.

That is the problem also.  We like quick fixes and we do not want extra work.  So we distract ourselves with our phones, social media, TV, our kids and whatever else.  Anything but work on our purpose.

Do not ask God for the new, when you are still stuck in the old spirit and the old energy of still “waiting”, being disappointed and frustrated.  Don’t ask for nothing new when you keep staying too busy with fruitless activities far away from your purpose.

The moment you make a choice to get back on track with your purpose you are that much closer to being in position for your King.  The moment you decide to let go of the trauma, drama and disappointment of what your father or your ex did and all the others, that is one moment closer to your king.

When the Queen in ready, her King will appear.

To learn more and be a part of this very anointed and eye-opening calls coming up this Thursday @ 9PM EST and Saturday @ 11Am EST, CLICK HERE.

Love,

Tonika

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Stop Hustling, Start Healing

Are You Driven or are you CALLED?

Many of us feel so inclined to PUSH, to drive, to PROVE ourselves, to control the outcome, to make things happen!

We are living disconnected from our Source, under the diminishing pressures of a masculine system of DOING rather than a Divine feminine manifestation of BEING. But do we really have a CHOICE? If we stop, who will handle it? We’ve learned that NO one is going to come through for us…the weight is on our shoulders; the burden is on our backs…

This was the call of womanhood in the 21st Century.

For women of color, many times, we see our mothers on the go. Single mothers, working mothers, women who are isolated and struggling to be their own village… Then, we re-create the patterns we’ve seen growing up. We model the superwomen and force ourselves to “stay strong” and “keep it moving!”

What if we STOPPED hustling and took the time to HEAL?

In this era of the HUSTLE…

  • 75-80% of doctors’ visits and illness diagnosed in women are stress related.
  • Autoimmune disorders (lupus, type 1 diabetes) in women have increased by 30%.
  • Women are 40% more likely than men to develop mental illness.

We are overweight, over-worked, over-committed and over-extended. This masculine standard for achieving success is hurting our souls, our bodies, our mental well-being.

God is calling his daughters to RESTORATION.

  • What if we gave our hearts the tender caress it called for?
  • What if we SLOWED down for wisdom and entered into a season of EASE?
  • What if we took time to breathe, to cultivate our inner-garden of peace and spiritual wholeness?What if we ended the masculine model of persecuting and competing with one another and came together for Divine purpose, reclaiming the beauty of wholeness?

It is time to go beyond the force of driveness, and FLOW in Divine Calling….

By Divine design, we were made to RECEIVE. We were made to flow in wisdom and grace..in Queenhood.

You don’t see a QUEEN rushing, worrying or sweating. She reigns in calm poise and spiritual GRACE.

I invite you to be honored, celebrated and spiritually pampered in Girlfriend Therapy: a Sacred Sisterhood Circle Saturday Series, where we minister to the health of your soul.

This Saturday, March 24th 8 AM PACIFIC /10 AM CENTRAL / 11 AM EASTERN

RSVP HERE for this Free Girlfriends Therapy Time

In our time together, my spiritual mentor, Shannon Evette, will speak to the soul of a woman. She will call forth our place of feminine ease and divine grace as we come together as a sisterhood, to COME HOME to the truth of who we are, to be refreshed by the still waters of the Holy Spirit.

Will you join me?

Click here to RSVP

 

Blessings & Love,

 

TB

Relationship Laws for Ladies Who Love God

1. I am rooted, grounded, fixed and founded in the Love of God, not a position, title, having “Mrs.” in front of my name, not money, my looks, being cute, being smart or being seen.

2. I respect myself enough to lay boundaries in all relationships personally and professionally.

3. I am complete and whole in God; therefore I do not need outside validation or vindication from a man to see how wonderful I am, what a great and lovely lady I am, or what good wife potential I am. I already know that I am all these things. I don’t have to compromise myself or be in a jacked up relationship to prove it.

4. I am a very wise, honest, faithful person of integrity. I am loving and kind. I am wise enough to now realize that not everyone is like me; therefore I exercise sound judgment, wisdom and boundaries in my daily life, especially when it comes to men. I no longer naively assume that just because a man proclaims to be a Christian, a minister, a pastor, etc. that it means he has good intentions or is true. I realize that because a man can speak “Christianese”, knows the Bible, can pray and preach does not mean he is “THE ONE”. He still got to past the basic character tests of honesty and reliability. I know people by their fruit not by what they say.

5. I attract creative, exciting, supportive, positive, godly, faithful, visionary, smart and wonderful people, both males and females in my life. I can now be friends with a man without thinking “IS HE THE ONE?” I can enjoy male friendship without the foolishness of weird feelings and questionings. I can just be my best self and let God lead, guide and order my relationships. I have a full and abundant life.

6. I attract emotionally, mentally and spiritually whole people in my life now. I have no need to have unhealthy, sick malfunctioning men in order to prove anything or to be their Savior. I am not responsible for their burdens, sins, issues, and brokenness and healing. That is between them and Jesus. I will NOT relax my boundaries to accommodate their issues, thus damming up my own healing and blessings. Because I am fixed, helped and healed by Jesus, I no longer have the need to fix, help or heal a man. I am now complete in Christ and know who I am, a Daughter of the King, living in His courts and will not go beneath my place of being seated in heavenly places to roll around in the pig pen to help someone and get my own self dirty and hurt. I no longer need to fix someone else to validate my self-worth and value as a good woman. I know I am good.

7. I live very gracefully, very poised, very well pulled together and am continuously working towards improvement and order. I will no longer tolerate chaotic individuals, with lots of mess and unresolved issues operating that will spill over into my life. Thus I maintain a higher level of peace and order in my life.

8. I attract whole men who I would compliment and who would compliment me. We are icing on each other’s cakes, not two half baked cakes, falling apart attempting to come together, making a bigger mess. I am a Whole Loaf. Therefore I will not scrape around begging, looking and expecting for crumbs from a man, or live off past stale crumbs. I no longer attract crumby men. I attract Whole Loaf Men.

9. I make note of and pay attention to ANY AND ALL, EVERY LAST SIGN OF ANYTHING THAT IS A TRUE RED FLAG in relationships. I can give people the benefit of the doubt, but I now am more sensitive and quickly take heed to warning signs and signals, because I have learned to trust myself. I have learned that if I am praying in the Spirit, staying in the Word of God, trusting Him to lead me that He is indeed truly doing that and I can truly trust that warning or check in my spirit. I only have close relationships with people whose walk equals their talk and whose words and actions match. If I see otherwise, I leave them alone.

10. I stay away from anyone who would attempt to cause me to compromise myself or values in any way, shape form or fashion. I flee from any individual or circumstance that conflicts with:
a. Godly laws, principles, values and morals, including sex before marriage
b. Common Sense and Wisdom
c. Cause immediate harm and damage
d. Cause emotional, mental, spiritual pain, anxiety, torment or turmoil
e. Compromise the call and purpose of God for my life

11. I stay in fellowship and accountable to people who I know truly love and care about me and who will tell me the truth. I walk in reality and not fantasy. I am able to distinguish and discern truth. I immerse myself in the Word of God; I stay in tune with the Holy Spirit who is also known as the Spirit of Truth. I heed wise counsel, realizing that I do not know it all. I heed wise counsel even if it hurts my feelings and makes me mad at first. This means I stay humble.

12. I refuse to allow myself to be self-deceived in the name of Jesus because I am too proud, ashamed or embarrassed to face the truth about any situation. I no longer have to isolate myself in shame or embarrassment. I have nothing to hide anymore. I can live again.

13. I have no need to get in a man’s head, obsessing, analyzing, over thinking, and immersing myself in his world, trying to figure him out. It does not take all that. If it does, something is wrong.

14. I work for myself first. This means that I allow God to work in me and through me to #1, heal and restore me FIRST, then others. My work blesses ME FIRST, then others. This means that I will utilize the gifts and talents I have for God to benefit myself and others in a Healthy and Balanced way. This means that I will not allow myself to be used by someone in the name of fixing/helping/healing/proving/validating and following a fantasy and still left with nothing to benefit me. I am discreet and cautious and wise about giving of myself, time, talents and money to anyone not in my immediate family, but especially to a man without the true commitment.

15. I end relationships immediately when I can clearly see that it is not working. I learn the lesson and LET IT GO.